Can you explain the methods of overcoming excitement and of becoming successful? (Social Phobia)
Submitted by on Thu, 08/04/2010 - 17:41
Dear Brother / Sister,
Everything that we do for the first time causes excitement and fear. At the time of fear, excessive cortisol is secreted into the circulatory system, parallel to the agitation felt. It hinders the flow of ideas. The individual loses his positive feelings at that moment. In some cases, hands and even the whole body tremble. Heartbeat and blood circulation speed up. It becomes hard to control one’s actions. If this problem happens in a more severe way than that, one cannot keep eye contact with others; his head trembles, he feels as if his brain has been disconnected from the outer world. At times of fear, one feels the flowing of anxiety within oneself. In order to be saved from that situation immediately, one becomes obliged to escape from there and to give up what he wanted to do there. Moreover, anxiety or fear causes the speaker to lose credibility.
In some people, the feeling of fear has developed much. Anxieties that are frequently felt aggravate one another more and more, and the ability to feel anxious develops: One starts to feel anxious even because of the smallest problem. Excessive fear and anxiety is extremely harmful to the nervous system.
All successful speakers undoubtedly felt excited when they came in front of the public. Without an exception, everyone can overcome fear and anxiety. However, in order to do that, one should revise all of his/her beliefs and should do a set of exercises. The reasons for fear are explained below one by one.
THE REASONS FOR FEAR
Among the basic reasons for fear, we can count a childhood full of oppression, chronic stress and illnesses, staying in an antisocial environment for a long time, believing in failure, weakness of memory, and running out of words.
A Childhood Full of Oppression
Such things as excessive family authority, oppression, violence, and beating can be experienced during childhood and youth. If it continues for a time with a degree beyond normal, it causes a profound introversion and lack of courage in the psychology of the individual. The child loses his/her self-confidence in an environment of oppression and violence. His/her personality develops on the one hand as reactionary, on the other as dependent on others. A continuously insulted child develops an image of failure in his/her subconscious. Under normal circumstances, it is not possible to eradicate that image without exercising a special effort. If you have excessive excitements that have somehow developed, you should eliminate them with radical changes.
Continuous Stress and Illnesses
Occasional, even if severe, stress and illnesses do not cause a negative chronic effect on one’s psychology. Furthermore, if they happen for short durations and cease, they can increase joy and excitement of life.
However, if stress (and the illnesses that produce stress) is experienced for a long time even if slightly, a situation like this unfolds: The hormone of cortisol is continuously secreted into the circulatory system of blood. This secretion turns the body into a dump in a short while. Stress tenses the body and readies it against attack. Therefore, if this pollution is not cleaned with suitable methods, the nervous system, which is under excessive pressure, becomes tired. If this tiredness continues without interval, it may cause even the death of a person. The body takes an automatic precaution against this situation. The chain of command between the brain and the body is weakened. This is because the person has such a way of thinking that it produces tension and harms the body. In that case, in order to save the body from death, the brain, in a way, numbs the body; it relaxes and becomes relieved. However, this relaxation deeply harms the flow of ideas at the same time. In this process, the flow of ideas becomes blocked; retention weakens; forgetfulness arises and the person becomes depressed with his inner problems.
All of those mentioned above cause the individual to lose self-confidence and to become dissociated from people. This way, the aspects of fear, namely failure, blaming and despising oneself, show up.
However, the fact that illnesses cause stress stems from the way one thinks. If one sees illnesses as an opportunity to mature oneself, one’s body may suffer, but one may not experience harmful stress, as one’s psychology will be sound.
Antisocial Work Environment
There are certain occupations and work environment which cause people to stay away from the society. For instance, those who are to stay and work in front of the computer stay away from the outer world to a great extent. Their brains are thoroughly caught in the cyber world provided by the computer. Certain factory works may imprison one in front of a counter. Also, guards who work at night and sleep during day have a somewhat antisocial flow of life. However, such professions as management, marketing, teaching and emceeing encourage people to be social.
When people confine themselves to the jobs that lead them away from the society, their minds get used to this environment. Their abilities of conversing with different people weaken. Their conceptions become limited by their own criteria. They get bored of socializing and conversing with people. Their personalities develop in a circle of introversion and individuality; therefore, when they need to say something in front of a crowd, they feel grave fear and excitement. However, those who take up different hobbies and do extra social activities can prevent that unfortunate flow of life.
Belief in Failure
Even if any one of the above-mentioned conditions is not present, people may be scared to speak in front of a crowd. An important reason for that is the settlement of the image of failure in minds. The meaning that humans attach to each behavior is sent to the subconscious as a command. Not everyone who has set out to accomplish something can do so. It is just natural for every one of us. Nevertheless, when they do not get the desired outcome, some people come to a hasty conclusion that they failed and they accuse themselves. Those accusations are repeated many times, and in the end the individual unknowingly dictates the judgment “I am unsuccessful” to his/her subconscious. It is a big limitation because once the individual makes this belief automatic, it causes him/her to become unsuccessful in almost every endeavor he takes. Our brain tries its best to affirm whatever we believe.
Even if the person who settled the belief “I am unsuccessful” in his/her subconscious takes action saying, “Maybe this time I can accomplish”, s/he often feels the apprehension “What if I cannot succeed”. This anxiety impoverishes his/her attention and occupies the mind with negative results. Those possible negative results weaken the will to resist and to persevere. The individual feels feeble. This lack of power and the worry that is brought with it leads one to the point of giving up. Thus, one really becomes unsuccessful. On the other hand, it is a success-requiring courage to be able to speak in front of a public. As the belief in failure ruins courage, the individual cannot speak before a crowd. Even when the possibility of failure comes to mind, s/he feels a deep fear or anxiety.
Having Nothing to Say
The last factor which prevents one from speaking in front of a public is having nothing to say. Of course, if we do not know what to say, we get stuck while speaking. We often experience it. Therefore, if we are not sure of our ideas, we cannot dare to speak.
There may be many reasons why one does not have anything to say, and it is a common problem. In the first place, it stems from the fact that one is not a good reader. People obtain 80% of their knowledge through reading. The knowledge of those who do not read at all is very limited. In addition, those people cannot produce new meanings and perspectives by relating their pieces of knowledge to each other. However, people may have personal experiences from ways other than reading. They might have thought upon those experiences. In that case, they have knowledge. The one who does not have anything to say is the person who is interested in very few subjects, and even uninterested in anything other than himself/herself. An utterance can be uttered only if it concerns others. Those who do not care about others and do not ponder over general problems do not exercise their brains enough. Therefore, if such people are asked to speak, they feel worried about what to say. This worry destroys their courage to speak.
Inability to Control Memory
A very weak memory is one of the most important causes of the loss of self-confidence and of avoidance of speaking. This is because the speaker does not dare speak as he thinks that his memory will not help him, and that he may forget what he is to say. Actually, those who have a weak memory exhibit the symptoms of an evident illness. In general, though, weakness of memory is not a symptom of an illness but that of a mental laziness. Mental laziness stems from lack of concentration. Moreover, lack of concentration originates from tension or stress. Therefore, the more one relaxes, the more concentration one has; this increase makes it possible for memory to function properly.
A person who has mentally and emotionally focused on the topic that he will deliver a speech about can certainly talk about it. Still, we will briefly dwell on certain techniques which empower memory and cause it to be of more help to us. Those who wish to attain a perfect memory should know that they can develop their memories with diligent work to the level they desire in a short time.
Disappearance of Fear
It is true that if you have not spoken in front of thousands of people for hundreds of times, you will feel excitement each time. Sometimes this excitement becomes so insurmountable that they cannot force you to the pulpit even with chains.
Be confident of yourself. You will overcome fear and excitement very easily. If you really desire it, know right now that when you come in front of public, your heart will be in peace and your eyes will shine.
You will organize your efforts under three main parts. Do not forget. Fears are the result of the automatic programs fixed in your mind. When the occasion comes, these programs start functioning just like a phonograph record. If you do not damage or do not put a new one instead, the older one continues to play. The worst of all, the records you play all the time become even stronger and deeply rooted each time you play them.
We will eradicate our fears by working in three main areas. The first one is the area built with words. Words form one dimension of ideas. If we have fears, they are woven with words. We will solve this part with “the System of Sentence Suggestion”.
The second dimension of our ideas is formed by images. How do you imagine yourselves? As a person trembling out of fear? As a courage incarnate, head upright and with a smile on your face? The saying, “Man is what he thinks.” is true. Let us change this saying: Man is how he sees himself the most in his imagination. We need to change the image films about ourselves. Let us name this work as “Image Suggestion System.” While trying to overcome fear, we will use a third dimension, ‘behavior.’ All of the ideas which are composed of words or images turn into actions when they are repeated. Actions are behaviors and attitudes. The real stimulator of the molds in our minds is the attitudes we take. This is because when the idea turns into attitude, all our perceptions start to function. While you are behaving, you hear, see and touch what you do. Let us refer to the work we undertake in this section as “the Behavior Suggestion System.” Now you are ready to build your great, pride-inspiring personality. If you continue working with us sincerely, you will notice the excitingly fast change you will undergo. Let us get started:
The most important factor conducive to the continuance of fear and anxiety of speaking in front of people is the belief system. Every piece of information we take in and every experience we have affect our belief system and reshape it. In this section, we will relate the outstanding ones of these beliefs.
- I am not skilled enough.
- The people who achieve it are far superior to me.
- Until now, I have always been unsuccessful.
- While there are others, it is not up to me to do that work.
You may have these basic beliefs to a great or small extent. They are absolutely incorrect beliefs for everybody. However, most of the people are doomed to pass their lives vaguely as they have acquired those incorrect beliefs. When we pay attention, we see that beliefs always verify themselves., All material and spiritual powers try to confirm whatever we believe. Now, we will explain why the beliefs mentioned above are not true. Please read these explanations again and again. Even if you memorize these explanations, continue to read them whenever you have the opportunity. Here the objective is not only to learn. The main objective is that the true belief is attached to your subconscious. This is because your beliefs are the words that you repeat to yourself for many times. Now you need to replace them with the true beliefs by repeating them to yourself. If you read these explanations enough, and if you continue to think about them whenever you have the opportunity, in a month, your new beliefs will be saved in your subconscious. If you want to change faster, you should use the system explained in teletherapy cassettes every day.
In accordance with the sentence suggestion system, we will give new sentence commands which will reshape your subconscious quickly. Already, the patterns in our subconscious were comprised of such sentence commands. In order that the commands are established strongly, they must possess certain characteristics. We can list them as follows:
1. Deep Relaxation:
You should relax all your muscle systems. In a seminar, the presenter will show you how to relax deeply. The more deeply you relax, the deeper and more permanent your commands are established.
2. Sentence Structure
The structure of the sentence must be simple enough. You should build short sentences. The sentence should only be in the present continuous tense. The subconscious takes the words uttered in the past or future tense for past or future time. The past is always past and the future is always future. The subconscious does not understand the negative commands or it understands them on the contrary. It only processes positive commands.
3. The Continuity of Development
The sentence structure should include the continuity and betterment of the development. Based on the repetition of any event, the state of betterment should be expressed. Let us criticize the suggestion sentences below accordingly:
- As a person who wants to be successful, I develop every day and proceed to perfection step by step and quickly. (This sentence is too long; the command gets lost.)
- I am not smoking. (The tense is correct, but the sentence is in the negative.)
- I will study hard. (There is no condition for development. There is a mistake of future tense. Even if centuries pass, the subconscious always postpones the command to the future.)
- I am smiling more every day and every breath. (The length is appropriate. The continuous tense is correctly used. The development is linked to every day and every breath. This is the best way of sentence suggestion. Say, “Every morning, I’m getting up fresher.”
While building suggestions, you may encounter hardships in removing the negative structures.
How will you remove the old ones?
I am getting angry-----------------------------------I am not getting angry.
I am smoking. ----------------------------------------I am not smoking.
The solution is not using the expressions in the negative. Rather, you need to choose the opposite positive expressions.
You want not to be angry--------------------------I am becoming more peaceful.
You want not to smoke---------------------------I am quitting smoking.
In this section, we first need to eradicate the incorrect beliefs that hinder our success. Then, we will build the idea-foundations of correct beliefs. Then we will exercise to encode these idea-foundations to our subconscious.
I Am Not Talented Enough
You have also been given a life a day of which is 24 hours, just like Edison and Einstein. You also carry in your skull a wonderful mechanism of brain which is composed of the same billions of neurons as other people. You were sent to the world with the only developed talent to suck milk just like everyone and learnt everything else in the world. You possess such a great potential that even if you perform millions of works, you use only about one or two thousandth of your brain’s capacity. Nobody was created with more talents than yours. And you were not created with more talents than anyone. Then, why do some people climb up to peaks? Why are such things as sympathy, charisma, richness, fame and the like possessed only by certain people? If you are a physicist, why are you not an Einstein or Abdussalam? If you are a littérateur, why can’t you surpass Shakespeare who still remains to be bright deep in the history?
The only means that makes one potentially superior is “knowledge” and “education” based on knowledge. If you observe yourself, you will see that you do not have any skill that is not based on knowledge. Is it not interesting that the first command in the Qur’an addressed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who was illiterate, is “read” in other words “learn”? Today we acquire 80 % of what we know by reading.
You are so superior that you do not deserve to be degraded to dragging yourself in floods of ordinariness. It is up to you to reach the “great you” living in your dreams. Nobody can add one more minutes to his/her daily 24 hours. However, you can do ten day’s work in one day. How much investment did you make in your personal talents?
You can hear various voices of opposition in your mind; do you take our assertions lightly? Then take a look at the explanations below:
- The People Who Accomplish This Work is Much Superior to Me
You are misleading yourself. Anthony Robbins says he once thought like that, too. He was working as a servant in a hotel at the age of about 20. He was poor and without education. When he had enough of the suffering already, he decided to change his life from scratch. He first attended a fast reading course and in a couple of years read 700 books.
Today, the same man is the person who earns millions of dollars each year and is renowned across the world. Even professors who spent their years in education started to take lessons from and to recommend the books of that man who did not receive further education and whom they firstly did not take seriously. What changed his life in only ten years and in such a way? He set out solely to succeed and the fate brought him success. We should comprehend the reality that he comprehended.
We should know these: There are billions of neurons in the human nervous system. Our brain which is composed of neurons can process 30 billion bits of knowledge in a second. In any normal brain, the potential number of pattern or connection is expressed as 10 million kilometers of zeros following the number 1. Each neuron in our brain has a capacity of saving one million bits of information. Every healthy individual has this awesome potential and we, humans, make use of approximately only 1 % of our potential. And the remaining great capacity is at our disposal, waiting to be explored.
Edison, who is the possessor of about 200 inventions, attaches 99 % of success to work and study, and 1 % to intelligence. It does not mean that intelligence is unimportant. Rather, it means that the only way that intelligence can develop is work and study.
Indeed, those who succeed in it are superior to you. Nevertheless, this superiority does not stem from their being born superior to you. They became superior only through work and study. Everybody recorded in history as superior became superior merely by working diligently; in other words, they improved their brain capacity that they used.
Although you do not have any difference to others, if you confine yourselves not to be superior, this belief structure that you form will prevent you from being superior all your life.
-Until Now I Have Always Been Unsuccessful
In order to discover electricity, Edison, too, had to wait for years and make thousands of experiments. One of the presidents of the United States had to enter many elections for years and to lose in order to become the president in the end. Life always brings about success to those who persevere on their objectives.
You need to remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary. There is no such thing; there is no failure for the one who continues the initiative; rather only getting one more step closer to success each time. Everything called failure is the discovery of another way which could not lead you to success. Every event thought as failure is full of invaluable lessons for us. If you did not check the results of what you did, you will judge it as a “failure” and will quit working. If you do not have a compass at hand, your only way to success is trial and error. However, now you have the compasses bequeathed by those who reached success.
You need not only remove the word “failure” from your vocabulary, but also change the meanings that you attached to that word as “I got one more step closer to success.” When you do that change, you will see that, in reality, this is the truth itself.
If you cannot forget that word, you will definitely use it; do define failure correctly. There is only one failure in reality: Abandoning working, trying, and initiating.
It is not up to me to do this work while there are others
If everybody thought like that, we would stay in the dark at nights now. The people who changed lives of every one of us did not think this way. The people who say that this work is my responsibility in the first place are the ones who actually do that work. The people who show difference are those who take on responsibility willingly. Is everything that you use the products of others? Why do you not produce it yourselves? Once you say that the responsibility of this work lies on my shoulders, you will see that you will instantly be made the leader of that work. It is an established rule. There is no harm to you, even if others perform the same work that you do. If you, too, do it, that work will reach perfection. In any way, if you use your sentiments strongly and work more diligently, you will rise to be a leader of others doing that work, too.
There are two kinds of people in the world: The ones that lead others and the ones that are led; producers of ideas, and the followers of the produced idea. Those in the first category are less than 10 % of the whole humankind. Only through a change of belief and perspective, you can enter the first group.
If you still say, “I cannot do it”, then you should know that you do not want to do. In other words, you want to say, “I do not want to do”. There is nothing to do for the person who does not want to do though he knows that he can do. Our Creator did not give anybody the right and power of interfering with the wills of people who know what they can do.
EXERCISE: FEAR-SENTENCE SUGGESTION
1. After reading the suggestion sentences below, examine the following explanations. Firstly, we should establish the belief foundations for suggestion sentences.
a) My Great Skills Are Developing Every Day
You will tell this sentence to yourself millions of time. Please first dedicate some of your time to yourself. Look back into your whole past. Whatever you have accomplished until now, whether small or big, even a very small experience you have had, write it down on your notebook. You will see that you, whom you looked down on, have already accomplished great things. You have quite different experiences than a shepherd who does not have any cultural experiences. By thinking about them, you will tell yourself how much potential for talent you possess.
b) Each day I am continuing to be more superior
You will repeat this belief millions of times, too. Do not forget that you already say to yourself thousands of things about yourself every day. You often told your previous experiences to yourself with the meanings that you attached to them. Now you are changing their meanings and telling them to yourself again. Think about the pasts of the people who succeeded. They did not come to the world as a Martian or as a creature of another sort. At first, they did not know how to read and write, like you. They also grew up in their mothers’ lap. Besides, if we were deprived of a mother’s lap, it means that we have more chances of becoming superior. The greater soldier is the one who reaches victory in spite of harder conditions. If you have suffered more from poverty, illnesses or pain than the people that you know to be successful, it means that your soul is more excited and ready. They will push you up on the way to be more superior to others. You should see the change in your sentiments brought about by this new inner speech.
c) Each day I am continuing to be more successful
Please look into your past. Compare the “you" ten years ago to the “you” five years ago, and to the “you” today. This way of comparison should be established as a habit. There should always be points that you should pay attention to and in which you become superior even a bit. Do not fall into the terrible mistake that many people make. You will compare yourself not to others who have many opportunities, but compare yourself to the you who have more opportunities today than yesterday. You become superior in comparison to yourself. In which fields and how much? In order to see your strengths, you can look at those below you, but never search for superiorities in yourself by looking at those who are superior to you. Otherwise, you will turn the process of improvement into that of regression. You should look at those who are superior to you only when you think about where to climb. This look will push you up. You should see that progress of yours millions of times. Do not forget, our brains cannot differentiate between the outer reality and our reality that we imagine. In other words, just like seeing an orphan baby makes you sad, imagining one makes you sad, too. We cannot control the outer reality but we can shape the reality in our imagination however we like, and we can change it instantly. As we want to change right now, the first thing to do is to change our imagination.
d) I am doing any work that I am faced with right away
Do you have a problem in front of you that needs to be solved? You take action right now. If there is no problem, then you should search for it because especially in this age, we cannot find any place without a problem. There are many duties that we can undertake. Even if we do not undertake the responsibility by looking for it, most often it is presented to us as an opportunity. Most people reject such opportunities as drudgeries. We should know that there need not readily be a financial return for everything we do. The most important reward is the invaluable experience that we acquire. Even if you cannot carry out the work good enough, you should know that nobody did a work perfectly the first time they tried.
Is there a need to help a blind person walking on the street by holding his/her arm? Should a deputy be warned on a subject? Should one caress an orphan’s head? Should the livelihood of your family be taken care of? You may continue the list. Why should someone else but you undertake them? Moreover, someone else is bound to carry them out rather insufficiently. Only this attitude and the repetitions in accordance with this attitude improve you. No single work is drudgery. Even if you make unpaid apprenticeship, the experience you get will one day prove to be invaluable and if you are looking for payment, you will see that you have improved to take the reward of years’ experience overnight.
Of course, we do not mean that you should endeavor to do any work rashly. We mean that you undertake every opportunity which will help you to become “the you whom you wish for” and to develop your skills which are needed for you to become that person.
2. Practice the following suggestions after deep relaxation. Repeat each suggestion ten times in your mind.
- I love my friends more every day.
- Every day my self-confidence and bravery increase. Every day I speak on the stage with increased confidence.
3. Say the suggestion sentences below in a seminar setting (or with your friends in a different place) out loud, first altogether; then one by one.
- My self-confidence is increasing.
- My bravery is increasing.
- I am feeling the strength given by my Creator.
- I am overcoming all handicaps.
- I am getting stronger.
- I love you all.
Most of the suggestions are comprised of the images (visualization) that we form in our minds. Sometimes the effects of images are hundreds of times more than words. You see yourself in your mind. You are defining the ideal you that you want to reach. You will build that person. You will form your future. You are the hero of what films in your imagination? What sorts of roles do you sketch for yourself? Humans rehearse first in their minds what they experience. What kind of a “you” are you rehearsing to act in the future?
In the image-suggestion system, you will rehearse the you who overcome your fears. In your imagination, you will touch the you in the future. You will see yourself. You will feel your fears. You will hear yourself. You do not have to use this technique only to overcome fear and excitement. This exercise will help you with all the skills that you want to improve.
1. You are in front of the public: You will close your eyes (Of course, now they are open in order to read how it is done.) You imagine yourself on the stage. There are thousands of people in front of you. They are applauding you with excitement. See them. The lights are focused on you. The flashes of cameras are shot on you. See the video cameras turned to you and the cameras taking your photos. See the whole hall, the great hall. See yourself on the pulpit.
Hear all voices there; applauses, whistling, flashes, and the microphone in your hand… You are saying “Thank you; thank you.” Hear the echo of your voice. Say: “I am pleased to be in your presence. I love you.” Your voice is waving; you hear it. The place is warm. Feel the temperature. Pay attention to your heart. You are extremely calm. You have the microphone in your hand. You are holding it close to your mouth and feel it. Your heart is calm. You are happy. You start speaking with excitement. They applaud you. You see them.
Look at the front rows. The heads of the state and the deputies are sitting there, watching you. You are speaking as if dominating them, your head upright. You are happy, brave and you are smiling. (The visual simulation explained in this section will be applied by your seminar presenter with music on.)
2. Imagine yourself as arguing with Bill Clinton.
3. Imagine that you are speaking in a panel discussion on TV. Live all details.
4. You are addressing deputies in the Parliament pulpit.
All behaviors that we exhibit become a part of our character in time. They become automatic. If we change our behaviors, then we also change the sentiments that we attach to them. Sentiments and behaviors always come side by side. If you behave as if you are afraid, you become afraid; if you become afraid, you behave as if you are afraid. What if you behave as if you are not afraid? Even if you are afraid, you will see that your fear is quickly gone. Put aside your feelings and proceed in the face of anything that you are afraid of as if you do not fear it. Now we will carry out certain behaviors that fear does not let us do, increasingly from the weak to the strong. By destroying forms of behavior, we will actually destroy our fears which cause these forms. However, we should pay attention to doing these exercises especially in front of a group of people.
1. First, stand up and applaud yourself as a group for having chosen the eloquence seminar. Standing, tell your name, surname and duty. Applaud all your friends.
2. Stand in the first row in groups of four people. (One minute per person) explain how you learnt about the seminar and what your goals are for taking part in it? Everybody asks the coach a brief question. (During each speech, applauses, exclamations, and loud bravos are exhibited.)
3. Climb onto a high place one by one. Say the following sentences aloud and sit down. (Applauses)
”I am brave. I trust myself. I am talented like everybody. I will succeed. Trust me, friends!”
4. Make sticks out of newspaper. Stand up, and crying out the sentences below with gusto, beat the table with the stick again and again.
“I am destroying the handicaps within myself. I do not know failure. I am very strong.”
5. In pairs, debate the topic below harshly (sitting and standing):
”Light is more important than earth.” “Earth is more important than light.”
“Intelligence increases thanks to knowledge.” “Knowledge increases thanks to intelligence.”
6. First, everyone practices laughing and shouting where they sit by increasing their voices. Afterwards, in groups of four people and finally one by one, they continue this exercise.
While laughing, expressions like these are used: Look at that; ha ha ha; look, ho ho ho ….
While shouting: Get out of here! Get out, I do not want to see you, get out! …
7. Walking exercises:
Shoulders upright, looking forward, walking with firm and orderly steps…
Walking with one hand in the air, then with both hands, then clapping hands in the air and facing the group…
Walking by moving the whole body, bending side to side and facing the group…
Hands behind, walking while facing the group (tongue out; if you find it too difficult to do it, with the funniest expression you can make.)
8. Singing a Song:
Certain songs will be sung in a group atmosphere, both as a group and individually, mumbling and aloud, sitting as a group and standing one by one. (The seminar presenter will present the necessary pieces to the students with lyrics.)
In order to affect our memory, there are four main areas which we can emphasize. The degree to which we can dominate these areas determines the power of our memory. As the main theme of our book is not “memory training”, we will not present detailed information about this topic. Here are important factors:
1. Biological-Psychological Soundness: This is about the overall management of our body. The bio-chemical equilibrium of our body seriously affects our memory. Furthermore, the way we manage our spiritual state does critically affect our memory, too. For more information about this topic, refer to the explanations in the second section of the book titled “Happiness Development Approach”.
2. The Level of Relaxation: The gravest enemy of memory is tension. Stress caused by tension slows and even prevents the flow of ideas. The more tension, the less concentration. The less concentration, the more harm done to the memory. If you practice the deep relaxation exercises taught in our seminar once every day (30 minutes), you will observe a noticeable change in 20 days (See the Addendum). We can say that the easiest way to make your memory stronger is deep relaxation.
3. Belief Style: Do you believe that you have a bad memory? If your answer is “yes”, be sure that your memory is bad because even if you have a perfect memory foundation, if you believe that you do not, your loyal friend subconscious will do whatever it can to make your memory just like you believe it to be. If you want to be mad, there is a very easy way of being so. Tell yourself every day that you are mad.
How do we develop the belief that our memory is bad? On the days that we are tense and worried, the idea flow of our brain slows down. At such times, bad memory becomes obvious. We start to feel worried and to tell ourselves that our memory is bad. Then some of our friends whom we love but who harm us direct weakening suggestions to us: “How can you forget? You seem to age, I guess. You, too, have become forgetful, haven’t you? Be careful not to forget that, too.” Hearing such remarks repeatedly, we become fully conditioned to forgetfulness. When such expressions are repeated, firstly they cause suspicion. Then they turn into opinion and afterwards into belief. Finally, they become quite strong, nearly as much as faith. Eliminating them becomes as hard as removing veins from the body.
If you have such a belief - it might have developed consciously or subconsciously -, you should eliminate it right away. Learn the reasons for the weakening of memory. If you think that your memory is in good health and it continues to improve, you will reverse the process. First, you become suspicious of your former belief. Afterwards, this suspicion turns into an opinion. Once you believe that you have a strong memory, be assured that your brain will work as best as it can to confirm this belief of yours.
4. Memory Techniques
Until now, many scientific researches have been carried out on memory, and especially Western researchers have developed original memory techniques. Actually, those memory techniques are as old as human history. In the past there lived people with super memories. However, we can say that we have just reached the system which can easily be used by everyone. You can also become a memory master by working on those techniques adequately.
We know that one of the renowned memory trainers is Dominic O’Brian and another one is Tony Buzan. In Turkey, having a perfect memory himself, Melik Safi Duyar accomplished a praiseworthy service by presenting the known memory techniques to the Turkish public. Though, apart from these people, there are many others who make startling shows with their incredible memories, works authored by these people will provide us with adequate information about memory techniques.
A point should be made here. One who does not know how to relax deeply cannot really benefit from the other two factors. When you accomplish deep relaxation, the natural rhythm of your brain’s functioning does not leave much necessity in normal life for memory techniques.
In this book, we do not give detailed information about memory. Nevertheless, you can find certain books related to the topic in the Addendum of the book. In order to solve the problem of remembering that you may face during conversation, study your topic and eradicate tension. You will see that your memory will not leave you alone and without help. Here you will only be given a couple of exercises.
1. Deep Relaxation and Suggestion
Having done the deep relaxation explained in the Addendum, repeat the following suggestions in the suggestion part.
- Every day my memory is improving.
- Every day I remember better.
2. Perform Sensory Animation
Perform sensory animation in your mind by using your senses. The more you improve your talent of sensory animation through ample exercises, the more strongly information is retained in your brain. Such exercises, samples of which are given below, will improve your ability of insight. You will have reinforced the information in your memory well through such an animation in the exercise that you will do before attempting to speak.
The image of a mother who is looking for her lost child, the color qualities of the image formed by the Sun while rising and while setting, the image of the light reflecting on flowing water, the image of a storm, your image in high school, images of flowers, of insects, cars…
Thunder, sounds of animals, wind, buzzing of flies, sound of an airplane, shouting with hatred, crying, laughing…
Animation of Touch
What does your hand feel when you slap; what does your finger feel when it is burnt; what do you feel when you squeeze iron, when you cut yourself, lie on a soft bed, kiss a kid?...
2. Scan Your Previous Knowledge
Who were your teachers in your elementary, secondary and high school years; which classes did you take, what sort of environment did your school have; what special memoirs do you have? Sit down, give yourself the command to remember them and wait.
Author: Muhammet Bozdağ
Questions on Islam
- I feel as I do not live at all. What would you suggest?
- What does it mean to love and to hate for the sake of Allah? What should one understand from it? How should one love and hate for the sake of Allah?
- How to Resolve Family Conflicts?
- How do I abstain from masturbation successfully? Can You Enlighten Me About the Islamic Ruling on Masturbation, Its harms, Ways of Getting Rid of It?
- 3. Surah Aal-e-Imran (159- 200)
- Why do we follow a madhhab?
- I cannot perform my prayers and I am not as peaceful as I used to be. What should I do?
- First Fruit: The place of love in the realm of beings; the targets where love and fear should be directed at. What is the fear of Allah? How is it achieved?
- Life in the Grave is True
- How can I get rid of homosexual urges? What steps should I follow?