What does it mean to treat a child well and to have high ethics?

Dear Brother / Sister,

Treating a child well means not being harsh toward every mistake of his, being lenient, being tolerant toward some of his faults that are not contrary to Islam, and not withholding one’s loving, compassionate and merciful looks and smiling face.

Teaching high ethics, on the other hand, means preparing a child for life by equipping him with the potential to behave in accordance with Allah’s commands and prohibitions, with constructive behaviors that discipline his social behavior toward people, respect for elders and love for the little ones.

Religious and moral education of children is primarily a religious responsibility.

“O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones!”(1)

The Quranic verse above emphasizes that the religious and moral education of children is a responsibility. The following hadiths of the Prophet (pbuh) reinforce this responsibility:

“A father does not bequeath to his child a better inheritance than good manners and ethics.”(2)

“Give gifts and food to your children and discipline them well.”(3)

The Prophet (pbuh) not only expresses that education is a responsibility but also exemplifies how to act while carrying out this process with his behavior, deeds and attitudes.

The Prophet (pbuh) loved children very much, respected their rights, acted mercifully, showed that he cared them by listening to them by giving them various responsibilities; he was worried about their problems and rejoiced with their joys. He was never hurtful in his communication with children and never scolded them. Anas b. Malik (r.a.), who served the Prophet for many years, said that the Prophet never scolded him and never hurt him.(3)

The religious and moral education of children is not only a religious duty but also a social responsibility. Children acquire the behaviors that will help them adapt to social life through their families. They learn moral behavior, the rules they should pay attention to in their communication with their environment, manners and courtesy from their families.

Footnotes:

1) at-Tahrim, 66/6.
2) Tirmidhi, Birr 33.
3) Ibn Majah, Adab 3.
4) Elif Arslan, “Çocukların Peygamberi”, Diyanet Aylık Dergi 358 (2020), 6-9.

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