What does Islam say about a mother who hates or mistreats her own children?

My mother has never spoken to me properly since I was a child. I think she hates me because I am stupid. Whenever I complain to my other family members that my mother is rude to me, they side with her. They scold me together with my mother. What does Islam say about it? What should I do? Should I keep quiet?

Dear Brother / Sister,

Even if the parents are wrong, their children cannot rebel against them; they cannot neglect their duties toward them; and they must fulfill their parents’ legitimate and lawful wishes.

The most important thing here is that children should focus on their own duties, not on what their parents do.

No matter how cranky a baby is, its mother will never throw it away, abandon it or neglect its care. Similarly, parents who have grown up but act like babies should be treated in the same way. When children grow up, they should take good care of the parents who behave like babies; and even if they make mistakes, they should never abandon them, throw them away or neglect their needs.

Accordingly:

1. If the parents make a haram request, the children can never obey them; they have to obey the will of Allah. They should only do what is lawful and avoid what is unlawful. If giving advice to the parents does no harm, they should explain the reason for it with a suitable style. If it can do harm, they should keep silent and continue to fulfill their duties.

2. If the parents harm their children materially or spiritually, and there is no way to be protected from it, the children can seek support from other family elders such as grandparents and uncles, or the relevant institutions of the state. However, they should still maintain contact with their parents in such a way that they are not harmed and, if necessary, provide them with material and spiritual support.

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