My family does not want me to marry at all. What should I do?

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

A person’s family, especially his parents, are the people who love him/her the most.

Our Lord commands us in the Quran to treat parents well, but He does not specifically say, ‘Treat your children well’ because it is already inherent in man’s nature.

With very few exceptions, which are usually due to mental disorders, mothers and fathers want only the well-being of their children.

Due to the experience of their age, parents give advice to their children on some issues that their children do not, cannot or perhaps do not want to see; their children might not like it.

Therefore, it is necessary to consider the issue well.

If our parents do not agree with us on an issue, especially on a very important issue such as marriage, we must listen to and understand them very well.

It is proven by experience that the predictions of the parents regarding the issue turn out to be true in general. Although it is too late, their children tell their parents how right they were years later.

Therefore, it is certainly necessary to love the person you are going to marry but it is not enough.

- Does the person you will marry fulfill his/her duties toward Allah?

- How can a person who neglects his duties toward Allah be an ideal spouse or parent?

What are the thoughts or reservations of your parents and the parents of your future spouse regarding the issue? They are also very important. Everything should be spoken clearly.

If the foundation is solid and if the parents show consent, the rest will be much easier to handle.

Everything else is material; in other words, it is easier for the couples who fulfill their duties to serve and worship Allah, who get married with the consent of their parents and who form a real close family to overcome the ups and downs of the world.

Therefore, we advise you to consider the issue again through this perspective, without prejudice and calmly try to understand why your parents think like that by talking to them.

You should do so without delaying your duties as a servant to Allah, asking Him for help, and turning toward Him with patience and trust...

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