Will you give information about bringing up a child? What should pregnant women do so that the birth and puerperium would be healthy and the baby in her womb be educated?

Details of the Question
Will you give information about bringing up a child? What should pregnant women do so that the birth and puerperium would be healthy and the baby in her womb be educated?
The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

Today's pedagogy says that child education starts in the womb. Because of this, what the mother eats and drinks, the environment she is in, the breath she takes, the drugs she uses and the happy and sorrowful events that take place during the pregnancy shape the personality and education of the baby in her womb.

Personality is the combination of the inborn characteristics of a person and the characteristics he acquires through his environment; education means bringing up a child through a certain type of education.

The child entrusted to his parents receives the first form of his personality from these sacred beings despite everything. His immaculate and pure heart is far from any evil intentions.

The child, who harbors purity and angelicness in his inner structure, is like untreated marble; whoever has him in his/her hands will shape it. It is like clean soil; and any seed that is thrown into it grows in the best way. He who sows goodness and beauty in this soil will reap it in the end.

The environment in which the child is enables his character to form. If the child is desired to be a good person, the people who will be examples to him should be very good representatives. And they need to set good examples to the child beginning from a young age both their words and deeds.

Bringing up the child well depends on the attitude of the parents first. This should be in the first months and early ages. It may be too late to delay it.

The child starts to learn very well from the first years. This learning is generally imitative. However, the child does not easily forget what he sees and perceives. His learning is like carving on the stone.

The parents who want their child to have a clean nature, good personality and good manners need to prepare a clean and beautiful environment for him. A good seed turns into fruit in beautiful and good soil. Parents should not prepare the cradle and the room before they are ready for the upbringing and care of the child. Parents should not have a child without feeling the anxiety of “how to bring up the child in a nice way”.

The parents need to know this: Most of the beautiful and ugly feelings in man starts in childhood. Feelings like shame, greed, aggression, kindness, having high ethics and selfishness start to form in this period. Training a child to have these feelings and similar ones enables a child to form a strong personality, and a strong intelligence and reasoning. The child shows his first greed toward eating and a sibling. Therefore, manners of eating and drinking should be the first education to be given to the child.

The parents should address the child according to the gender; when they buy clothes, they should take gender into account; toys also should be bought accordingly. If a child is neglected during the first upbringing period, his ethics will deteriorate and a lot of bad characteristics will occur, which will bring about irreparable problems.

The parents should take care of the education of the child before school age. Since the child will not be affected from advice very much, it is better to tell him real stories and show the lives of good people as examples. When a nice attitude of the child regarding high ethics is observed, he should be rewarded with something that will make him happy. It should not be forgotten that reward encourages the child to act nicely. However, it is important that the award be balanced and timely.

If the parents investigate their children's hidden mistakes, they will have a problematic child. Parents should not forget this; if a child makes ten mistakes, nine of them should be overlooked. If a child is directly informed of and blamed for his mistakes, he will not correct his mistakes. He will act shamelessly and think that what he does is normal; his characteristics will form like that. His mistakes should be told him in a nice and soft way, without blaming him harshly. If the parents cannot cope with these problems, they should seek help from an expert.

It is necessary to avoid humiliating, condemning and blaming the child very often. A child who grows up by accumulating his subconscious with such negative commands will start to assume that such defective behaviors are in his nature in the course of time; and his personality will develop like this. After a certain time, he will ignore the warnings of both his mother and father. Therefore, the parents should keep away from such negative deeds; if they think, they must, they should do it very rarely; I think this approach will be more effective.

Questions on Islam

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