What are the limits for an engaged girl and boy to tell each other their desires?
Submitted by on Sat, 28/02/2009 - 15:07
Dear Brother / Sister,
Engagement is not a marriage agreement, but it is a marriage promise. For this reason, those who are engaged are regarded as namahram (not a close relative) for each other and they cannot be together unless there is a mahram (so closely related by blood that marriage with him/her is forbidden) person with them. For this reason, even if they are engaged, it is not permissible for them to be together, to look at the parts of their bodies which are haram (forbidden) to look at and touch each other. And they should pay attention to their talk.
The engaged people have to be careful when they talk to each other on the phone, through msn etc...
For example, if they talk about love, affection, backbiting, lies, and about anything that arouses sexual desires, it is definitely not right.
However, if it is about religious matters that remind Allah, death, hereafter and religious feelings and thoughts, certainly it cannot be said that it is forbidden. The criterion should be as mentioned. When you act in accordance with those criteria, we can say that you do not commit sins and you protect yourselves. Also, we advise you to ask your conscience about what you do. If your conscience is not comfortable, give up what you are doing.
Questions on Islam
- Is it right for an engaged couple to talk (about physical relations) before getting married so that they may ease out difficulty?
- Is dowry permissible in Islam? Isn't it a burden on man?
- How should engaged people behave when they come together?
- Is it permissible for me to talk with my fiance via sms before marriage?
- Is it permissible for a person who is biologically and physiologically a man or a woman to have an operation and be equipped with some of the features and organs of the opposite sex just because he/she feels as a member of the opposite sex?
- How should engagement and the period of engagement be? What should the criterion for the engaged couple to meet each other be?
- To those who are thinking of getting married
- Is falling in love considered a sin in Islam? Is it a sin to have this feeling only inside without telling anyone?
- How should we inform our children about sexuality?
- How many kinds of puberty are there?