Is falling in love considered a sin in Islam? Is it a sin to have this feeling only inside without telling anyone?

The Details of the Question

Is falling in love considered a sin in Islam? Is it a sin to have this feeling only inside without telling anyone?

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

It is not a sin to fall in love. It is stated in a hadith that the one who falls in love with a woman and hides this feeling and who dies without telling this to anyone is a martyr. (see Kanzu’lummal, h. No: 7000; to get more information about the hadith, see Ajluni, 2/263;). Sahawi pointed out that the hadith is sahih (sound) (see al-Maqasidu’l-Hasana, 1(220).

As you know, rather than sensuality which stems from lust, love is the name given to the excessive affection felt in the heart. Therefore, it is not up to one to decide whether to fall in love or not.

If you cannot help thinking of her/him, it is permitted for you to remember her/him. However, it is wrong to love somebody to such a degree as to sacrifice the sacred things as if worshipping.

If you have the opportunity to get married and to take him/her as a spouse within the boundaries of the religious criteria, we recommend you to do that right away. If this is not possible, thinking that it is not for your goodness, then, you should ask for a good spouse from Allah.

We cannot know what is good for us. There is a possibility that we will wish something which at first we absolutely wanted to take place had not ever happened. Therefore, it is best to ask for what is good for us and to wait with patience if it does not happen.

Mary’s mother had asked for a son. Allah gave her a girl. She was very upset about it. If we asked her now which one she would rather have: tens of boys or just one Mary. Of course, she would choose one Mary. For, her daughter became a prophet’s mother.

We should act accordingly.

We are Allah’s servants. We are to act however He wishes. It is forbidden for a man and a woman to stay alone together even if they are engaged if they are not married,. For, engagement is not marriage. They must get married in the presence of witnesses so that they will become lawful for each other.

For instance, if one takes permission from you for the fruit in your garden and then eats it, you will like it. However, if one ate it without your permission and said, “What is the difference?”, what would you do?

Allah forbade us to wander without permission; and taking permission is through performing marriage.

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