Do I have to continue talking to someone who hurt me after forgiving him/her?
Submitted by on Mon, 04/01/2010 - 21:51
Dear Brother / Sister,
The state of resentment is considered valid in Islam, taking into consideration that there can be controversy on any issue between believers; however, it is stated that it must not last more than three days. (Bukhari, Adab, 57, 62; Muslim, Birr, 23, 25).
It is for ordinary daily issues. Moreover, there is a kind of resentment called “breaking relations off with someone” which is done against rebels and ones who insist on committing sins. There can be no resentment among Muslims who live in Islamic countries. If there is resentment, the following order of Allah’s must be applied: “The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear God, that ye may receive Mercy.” (al-Hujurat, 49/10).
The Prophet (pbuh) says:
“It is not permissible for a one to be crossed with his/her brother/sister more than three days. When two believers come across each other, they turn their faces away. However, the better of those two Muslims is the one who greets the other first.” (Tajrid-i Sarih Translation, XII, 145).
It means that you made peace with that person if you greet him/her or respond to his/her greeting when you come across each other. You do not need to continue talking at other times.
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