“O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them!..” (at-Taghabun, 64/14) What does the phrase "among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves" mention?

Dear Brother / Sister,

The meaning of the verse in question is as follows:

“O ye who believe! Truly, among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves: so beware of them! But if ye forgive and overlook, and cover up (their faults), verily Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. (at-Taghabun, 64/14)

The first one of the following narrations included in some resources as the reason for the revelation of the verse shed light on the first part of the verse and the other two on the last part of the verse:   

a) Awf b. Malik al-Ashja'i wanted to go to jihad with the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). His family came together and said they could not put up with his absence; they cried and dissuaded him from going to jihad. However, Awf regretted this decision afterwards.

b) When the Muslims in Makkah wanted to migrate and when their families did not want it, they would say, "If Allah makes me unite with you in the land of migration, you will see what I will do to you." They would also vow. (Tabari, the interpretation of the verse in question)

c) Some Makkans became Muslims and decided to migrate to Madinah. Their families opposed it. However, they went to Madinah after a while. When they saw that those who became Muslims and went to Madinah before them had advanced in religion, they got angry with their wives and children and decided to punish them.     (Tirmidhi, Tafsir, 64) It is narrated that the verse mentioned in the question was sent down upon those incidents. (see Ibn Kathir, the interpretation of the verse in question)

As it can be understood from the phrase "among your wives and your children are (some that are) enemies to yourselves" in the verse, the word "some" is used so that it will not be understood that there will be a problem like that among the family members all the time; however, that the word are is used before the word enemies in order to emphasize strengthens the warning so that people will be cautious regarding the issue. (Ibn Ashur, the interpretation of the verse in question)

According to the expression and warning in the verse, even the people who are connected with each other with the strongest bond of love – they are primarily parents and children – might not have the same purpose all the time; a believer might be harmed – whether intentionally or unintentionally – by his relatives related to his hereafter or supported by them. (see Kur'an Yolu, Committee, the interpretation of the verse in question)

Therefore, if a believing man or woman loves his/her spouse or children very much, This love might cause him/her to act contrarily to the religion. The criterion regarding the issue is to decide based on the criterion of Allah, as it is the case in every issue. A compassion and mercy more than Allah’s compassion and mercy generally results in something adverse.  In that case, what believers need to do is to act based on the criteria of halal and haram imposed by Allah.

We can say that two points are in the foreground in the verse:

The first one is that people might be harmed by their most beloved beings, their families – whether intentionally or unintentionally – ; they are warned so that their compassion will not be misused by them.

The second one is that people are advised that it is more appropriate to forgive the members of the family for that kind of wrong deeds than to punish them.

When we view the verse as a source of a sociological principle, we see that people are given the following lesson: People are not harmed only by the people who are far away but also by the people who are near them, like their friends and relatives.

“O ye who believe! Let not your riches or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allah. If any act thus, the loss is their own.” (al-Munafiqun, 63/9)

“Your riches and your children may be but a trial: but in the Presence of Allah, is the highest, Reward.” (at-Taghabun, 64/15)

This fact is underlined in the verses above.

Therefore, it is necessary to be cautious about even the closest members of the family and to think that not all what they say is true and useful. Instead of approaching their wrong attitudes emotionally, which means misuse of the compassion, it is necessary to remember the following statement of Hz. Ali: 

“Instead of trying to know a fact through some men, try to know those men through the facts that you have learned.”

That is, the criterion for everything must be knowledge in compliance with the Quran and the Sunnah. It is necessary to learn the ways of acquiring sound knowledge first; after that, this sound knowledge must be used as a compass in the road map.

On the other hand, one of the most important principles of the inner peace in the community is peace in the family. Therefore, the chapter of at-Taghabun ends with some instructions to believers related to family problems when deeds that are useful to believers are expressed:   

“So fear Allah as much as ye can; listen and obey and spend in charity for the benefit of your own soul and those saved from the covetousness of their own souls,- they are the ones that achieve prosperity.

If ye loan to Allah, a beautiful loan, He will double it to your (credit), and He will grant you Forgiveness: for Allah is most Ready to appreciate (service), Most Forbearing,-

Knower of what is open, Exalted in Might, Full of Wisdom.” (at-Taghabun, 64/16-18)

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