Why is it not permissible for a woman to marry more than one man?
- Why can a woman not marry more than one man though a man can marry four women in Islam? What is the wisdom behind this decree of the religion of Islam, whose justice and wisdom we do not doubt?
- Besides, some of the enemies of Islam who hear this decree claim that this decree humiliates the woman and blesses the man. How should I answer them?
Submitted by on Mon, 03/06/2024 - 16:44
Dear Brother / Sister,
First of all, let us remember the verse that legitimizes polygamy:
وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَاثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلَّا تَعُولُوا
“If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.” (an-Nisa, 4/3)
The word اَلْيَتَامَى mentioned in the verse expresses both orphans and widows. Accordingly, the meaning is as follows:
Mujahid says, “اَلْيَتَامَى If you fear that you will not be able to deal justly with the orphans and widows and that you will resort to fornication, marry two or three or four women that are permissible for you.
So, what the verse means is this: “Instead of committing fornication by benefitting from weak orphans and widows, get rid of this major sin by marrying two, three or four women legitimately.” If you cannot deal with your wives justly, only one wife is better.
Now we can give the answer to your question:
As it can be understood from the explanation we have made, the religion of Islam allows polygamy based on certain conditions.
In other words, Islam allows polygamy provided that one is afraid of committing fornication and that he will treat his wives justly. If these conditions are not fulfilled, it is stated in the same verse that one wife is better.
It is necessary to mention a very important point here. The issue of polygamy is a case of “de facto exception”. In other words, a man can marry another woman only if he faces the danger of committing fornication and if he is sure that he will treat his wives justly.
In that case, how many percent of the society are at risk of fornication and how many of them can ensure justice between their wives? In other words, a man has to be rich enough to provide sustenance for each wife and has to treat them justly. The number can only be one or two percent. It is a case of “de facto exception”.
We want to quote two hadiths regarding the issue:
“Marry and increase in number because I will be proud of your multitude on the Day of Judgment.” (Bayhaqi, VII/81)
“Marry lovely and childbearing women.” (Abu Dawud, Nikah 2; Ibn Majah, Nikah 1)
As it can be understood from the two hadiths above, the religion of Islam determines the first purpose of marriage as the perpetuation and reproduction of human race. The remaining benefits in marriage are details compared to it. Lust, on the other hand, is a small reward to ensure the perpetuation of human race.
Let us look for the answer to the question “Why can a man have more than one wife but women cannot have more than one husband?”
The first answer is because Allah, the owner of the property, wants it that way. However, there are countless wise reasons in every command and every prohibition of Allah, who is all-wise. Finding those wise reasons is also a form of worship. In this respect, it would be appropriate to view your question in terms of wise reasons.
What is the wisdom behind the prohibition of a woman from marrying more than one man?
1. The most important purpose of marriage is the perpetuation of the human race. If a woman marries four men, the population will be less because she gives birth once a year. Whereas, if a man marries four women, four births can take place in one year.
2. According to the world average, women enter menopause at the age of 51. In other words, they cannot normally have children after the age of 51, and they can even cease to have any sexual desires. However, a man can have a child and continue to have sexual feelings even at the age of 80.
3. A woman feels lust both with her body and with her emotions by nature. However, a man feels lust with his body. If a woman had four husbands, she would have a sensual feeling only with the one she liked the most and neglect the others. However, since the man’s bodily lust is stronger, he can enter into a sensual feeling with each one of his wives.
4. If a woman marries four men and has a child, there will be a debate about paternity because it will not be known from whom the child is. However, if a man marries four women, both the mother and father of every child are known without any debate.
5. If a woman marries four men, when the men’s houses are separate, the woman will have to go to each of them separately. Since it is very difficult, a woman cannot properly fulfill her duties toward each of her husbands.
6. According to the rule “With every blessing, comes a burden”, if a woman gets four husbands, she is asked to take care of those husbands and provide their sustenance in return for this blessing. It will not be a blessing for a woman, on the contrary, it will be the greatest burden. However, if a man is able to take care of his four wives, he can marry up to four women.
Why can a man marry up to four women? What is the wisdom behind it?
1. Since more men than women die in social incidents such as wars, the number of women is higher than men. What would those women have done if the religion of Islam had not legalized polygamy?
Therefore, polygamy actually protects the rights of women.
2. What should be done if a man married a woman he loved and had no children for 10-15 years and if it was understood that the woman was infertile?
If Islam had not legitimized polygamy, the man would have been childless throughout his life or he would have had to divorce his beloved wife.
So, what would this woman, who had been divorced after fifteen years and had no children, do?
Since Islam legitimizes polygamy, the man would marry another woman and they would continue their lives without being divorced.
If the man could not have children and if the woman wanted to have a child, she could apply to the court leave her husband.
3. As we have mentioned in the previous question, the average age of menopause for women in the world is 51.
Well, what should a man who wants to have a child after this age and whose sexuality continues do? He can continue his life by marrying another woman.
4. A man is a being that is open to the outside world by nature. For example, if a man had a workplace in both Ankara and Istanbul at the same time and spent half the week in one workplace and the other half in the other workplace, he could buy a house in both cities and be protected from the danger of committing fornication by marrying another woman.
Finally, we would like to add the following three notes:
Note 1: A woman can get rid of this problem by laying it as a condition while getting married that her husband cannot marry another woman or that she will have the right to divorce.
Note 2: The following fatwa exists in the book called Mecmua-i cedide: “It is makruh for a man who is likely to wrong his wife to marry. In fact, the judge should prevent him from marrying.”
Note 3: The religion of Islam did not increase the number of wives to four; on the contrary, it increased the number of wives, which was unlimited in the Era of Jahiliyya, to four. Ghaylan ibn Salama had ten wives. When he became a Muslim, the Messenger of Allah said to him, “O Ghaylan! Choose four of your wives and divorce the others.”
Questions on Islam
- With the wife's permission is having another woman to fulfill some needs a sin?
- Why does marriage with four people exist in Islam?
- Can a man do second marriage without first wife's permission?
- Marrying more than one woman
- What should a woman do If her husband has more than one wife and doesn't treat them fairly?
- Is it not a sign of privilege that men are allowed to marry more than one woman?
- Marriage and Family Life
- Why do women not have the right of marring more than one man?
- How a divorced woman should spend her divorce period?
- Although there is a limitation in the Quran about marrying stating that a man can marry at most four women, why did the Prophet (pbuh) marry more women?