Is it permissible for me to ask my Lord to die together with my spouse? Does the life of family end with death?

The Details of the Question

Is it permissible for me to ask my Lord to die together with my spouse? Does the life of family end with death?

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

Yes it is permissible to pray like that.

Does the life of family end with death?

Marriage is a great means of keeping the man and woman away from sins.

“Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments...” (al-Baqara, 2/187)

The woman and man need to help one another with this consciousness. The following verse is a great guide regarding the issue:

“...Help ye one another in righteousness and piety, but help ye not one another in sin and rancor: fear Allah. For, Allah is strict in punishment.” (al-Maida, 5/2)

The wisdom behind sending everybody, whether male or female, to the world is determined as “worshipping” in the Quran. Worshipping, that is, covering distances in the way of knowing Allah, spending one’s life based on His orders and returning to Him as a slave fitting for Paradise. The spouses need to help each other to realize this goal so that their togetherness will not end with death and will continue forever.

"Happy the husband who sees the wife’s firm religion and follows her, and himself becomes pious in order not to lose his companion of eternal life. Happy the wife who sees her husband’s firmness in religion and becomes pious so as not to lose her eternal friend." (Lem’alar, Yirmi Dördüncü Lem'a)

We see the greatest wisdom in the life of family at thispoint. Since this world is the field of the hereafter as the Prophet (pbuh) states it, the comfort and the pleasure taken from the life of family in this world is like a seed only. If that seed is fed and grown as it is necessary, it will be a tree of happiness in the hereafter and yield its best result in that realm.

Paradise is much loftier than this world; similarly, the pleasure and happiness believing men and women will take from being together in that realm will be much better than that of this world. A divine glad tiding given related to the issue is as follows:

“But give glad tidings to those who believe and work righteousness, that their portion is Gardens, beneath which rivers flow. Every time they are fed with fruits therefrom, they say: "Why, this is what we were fed with before," for they are given things in similitude; and they have therein companions pure (and holy); and they abide therein (for ever).” (al-Baqara, 2/25)

Tafsir scholars interpret "pure companions" as pure women for men and pure men for women. Pure, that is, no material dirt or spiritual immorality and dissension is in question for them.  

That is the real wisdom of the life of family and its lofty and eternal outcome in the hereafter.

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