Is it permissible to chat with the opposite sex? How does the religion of Islam see flirting and chatting with the opposite sex?

The Details of the Question

Is it permissible to chat with the opposite sex? How does the religion of Islam see flirting and chatting with the opposite sex?

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

A Muslim’s talking and communicating whether mutually or virtually with one of his/her Muslim brother or sister is a good deed. However, this is valid for the same gender. A man’s talking with a woman necessitates taking some aspects into consideration.

For example, it is certainly not appropriate to gossip, to lie and to talk about love, passion and things which stir carnal feelings. It makes no difference whether she/he is married or not for such a subject, but the sin of a married person is much more.

However, if the conversation reminds us about sacred subjects, Allah, death, afterlife and religious life, of course it is not prohibited; besides it is a good deed. Your criterion should be this. If you act in accordance with such rules, we can say that you will not commit sins and you are able to protect yourself. Also we recommend you to act in accordance with your conscience. If you feel a pang of conscience, immediately give up it.

For the couple thinking of marrying, going somewhere and talking to each other is permissible and even sunnah with the condition that there must be one of their relatives with them. However, relations such as flirting are not permissible even if one of their relatives is with them. As our religion prohibits and forbids fornication, it also prohibits and blocks off the ways which lead people to fornication.

Similarly, chatting and having small talks with the opposite sex on the internet is not permissible. However, if the aim is to convey and to endear Islam, this is out of matter. Otherwise, talking in a different way which brings minds wrong thoughts and feelings is not permissible since such things lead people to wrong results.

Also, the essence of a family should be based on a sound foundation to be able to start and constitute a strong family. Therefore, as Islam advices candidates an arranged marriage, it considers their seeing each other as an essence as well.

Acting upon this point of view, we can say that the candidates who met each other just on the internet but do not have any idea about each other and whose families do not have any contact with each other before should not hold such a marriage since such a marriage can end up disappointedly. As far as we are concerned, you or any other people should not try a marriage with such a method.

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