I am tired and overwhelmed, what should I tell myself?

- I am so tired; I see my peers; they have no problems; their only concern is either school or darlings. Why is my life not like theirs? I sometimes feel so depressed that I do not want to live.
- There are times when I feel like I cannot stand it anymore. Why?
- What should I tell myself in such situations?

Dear Brother / Sister,

More detailed information is needed to be able to help with this kind of mental problems. However, since you mention a very general situation, we can only give some general advice.

First of all, no matter who you are in this world, whether you are the richest person in the world, the most famous or the most powerful one, everyone has troubles and problems. However, the degree of the problems is different according to the time and the environment in which people live.

Nevertheless, some people know how to overcome their problems without making a big deal out of them and move on while others may panic in the face of small problems and experience burnout.

You can think of this situation as a ship captain sailing at sea.

As you know, there is no sea without waves; only the size of the waves can change depending on whether the storm is strong or weak, or whether the sea is open or closed, etc.

Ship captains who know the sea, the waves and their duties well continue on their way even if they experience some shaking in the biggest waves, but those who do not know the characteristics of the sea and the ship they are in will experience serious shaking even in the smallest wave.

In this context, our advice to you is as follows:

- Everyone has their own problems

Normalize the situation in your own inner world by thinking that your situation is not so different from the society and that everyone has problems though not at the same level. The more you normalize your problem, the more relaxed you will be. Indeed, it is clear from your question that it is not your own situation that upsets you, but the fact that you think you have more problems than your other friends.

- There is no life without problems

What matters is to be able to move on in life together with problems. Probably, your friends whom you see as having fewer problems are doing the same. In other words, they see problems as a part of life and continue their normal lives. Some people unfortunately exaggerate it and give the impression that they are very happy all the time. And people who do not do so look at them and think that they are in a bad situation.

- Focus on the Positive and Beautiful Aspects

Focus on what you have and what you value; be grateful for them and develop your feelings of gratitude; do not be sad about what you do not have. There are countless blessings that Allah has given to human beings that they only realize their value when they lose them. For example, people do not know what a blessing health is until they become ill.

However, people who are seriously ill look at them and envy them.

Write down the positive qualities that you can be grateful for and the ones that you would be very sad to lose and increase your sense of gratitude.

- Change Your Perspective

Change the way you look at problems and troubles because what generally bothers people is not the problems but the way they look at them. Do not forget that a person who sees the good in things has good thoughts. And he who has good thoughts receives pleasure from life.

- Get Support

Get help with problem solving and progress because research has shown that what distinguishes happy people from unhappy people is the ability of happy people to solve problems.

Think about how you can solve your problems; get help and consult others. Rely on Allah and be patient about the problems that you cannot solve. Surrender to qadar (predestination) because the following is stated in a hadith: “He who believes in qadar will be safe from sorrow.”

- Do not forget that the world is a field and a school

Remember, man did not come to this world to enjoy himself. Rather, he was sent here to please Allah, to gain thawabs and to invest in the hereafter. Man is perfected through misfortunes and problems; if he acts patiently, he will gain the hereafter. Therefore, do not envy your friends, but let them envy you.

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