My Petition: Shiver and Regret in My Consciousness is Repentance


There is an application which is resorted by the states quite often: “Laws of Regret.” Sometimes people who failed to complete their education are “forgiven” and given another chance to complete their education. Sometimes, imprisoned people who committed various crimes are “forgiven”. And sometimes, this “forgiving” reaches such a point that even the lawless “terrorists” and bandits who turned social life into chaos are forgiven due to these “laws of regret”. And the merciful hand of the state reaches everyone, or it is made to reach everyone. 



So, what do these laws of regret remind us? 



I think that we need to make a “petition of repentance” like petitions of regret with which one applies to government agencies. If one did not sign a petition of regret, in the worldly life, would either be deprived of education or would stay in prisons, missing his right to benefit from the law. In this situation, he would miss the delights and joys of the worldly life of 60-70 years at maximum. However, what would happen if we did not sign a petition of repentance? God forbid, we could destroy our eternal otherworldly life. 



I do not know about you; but, I am, too, an absconder, a rioter against my owner because of the sins I have committed. Should I not need to keep crying out “Is there not a law of regret for me? Is there no forgiving for me?” I was captivated by my lower-self, by my desires. And I wanted to be free, too. Just like a bird, I thought, I should fly to the sky of “God’s content”, to the sky of freedom with the wings of repentance and regret. It was possible. Yes, I could do it if I wanted. 



Sometimes, I heard the news saying, “Finally, such and such a person benefited from the law of regret, too”. So, while even the least expected people could benefit from the law of regret, why should I not benefit from the law of regret (repentance)? Yes, only if it was said, “Finally, Turan benefited from the law of regret, too” on that awesome day of resurrection, in the gathering place! Ohh… How I wish that!.. 



People who benefited from the law of regret would confess and according to those confessions, their sentence would change. I, too, should open my hands in the presence of Him and seek refuge with His name of “Sattar (the Veiler [of faults>)”, realizing my faults. Those who confess are treated mercifully. And the Most Merciful and Most Forgiving would treat me mercifully, as He said He would. 



“And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask for forgiveness for their sins, - and who can forgive sins except God?- and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done.” (Aal-i-Imran, 135) 



Such tidings like the one above are valid for all times and could be manifested everywhere. Well, the Holy Prophet (pbuh), for the sake of whom everything was created, stated “The Supreme Allah accepts His servant’s repentance until the time of death unless death rattles start to come out of his throat.” So, I had to hurry up. At any time, death could hit me with its claws. I could repent and regret anywhere because He is “the Omnipresent.” And I could do it without any mediator; because “He is the All-Hearing”… 



His forgiving, His mercy resembles rain. It would rain on anywhere; however, those hard-hearted people who could not melt the ice of their hearts with the fire of regret would not benefit from it, just like rocks that cannot soften with rain. 



Would a nightingale land on anything? Only in the garden of a pure heart, where the dirtiness of sins burnt in the fire of regret, could a nightingale’s singing be heard. 



I regret that I did not know where and when to regret. 



I regret that I did not thank for anything I had. 



I regret that I did not feel any regret for turning my past times into a desert, not watering them with the rains of religious services. 



I regret that I failed to feel the pain of my sins in my heart. 



I should have shed tears like fountains springing out from my eyes. I should have remembered my sins all the time and shivered because of them and should have sought refuge with Him from not feeling so, just like the Holy Prophet (pbuh) said: “I seek refuge with You from a heart that does not shiver.” 



Who knows? Maybe, I would be forgiven after a day spent in tears or after a prayer performed in pains of regret. 



The real night of exculpation, the real rejoice it would be called then! 



Remembering Hazrat Ali saying, “Today there are deeds and there is accounting; and tomorrow there will be accounting and no deeds”, I should beautify my pages of life by committing good deeds with my tears, my regretful words and the pain in my heart before my pen was taken away from me, before the death rang the end of the trial… 



The past was accounting and today and tomorrows were my chances. 



Just like we expect a good result from a work of ours which we have done staying loyal to its requirements, so too should we expect Allah’s mercy when we stay loyal to the requirements of repentance. 



Let us think about repentance as the Holy Prophet said “Regret is repentance.” 



Repentance is the murmurs of regret, the regret for past faults and the determination to quit our unfavorable acts and behaviors today and to walk to the future in the right way. The most crucial point about repentance is that it should be a stable one, meaning, “not committing the same sin again just like it is impossible that milk sucked from an animal’s breast cannot be turned back into it”, which is called “the Pure Repentance.” 



We should not let our sins live. “What should have the shortest life-span within a human’s life are supposed to be faults and sins.” A sinful person resembles a poisoned person. Just like it is very risky for a poisoned person to waste time, it is equally risky for a sinful person to delay his repentance. 



Repentance is the name given to refreshing oneself, an inner-restoration, escaping from the hole of sins and standing up bravely, saying no to lower-self’s desires. It is the self-control not giving a way to sins. We can also name it the single combat between self and lower-self’s desires. 



The Prophet says: “Everyone errs; the most virtuous of all erroneous people are the ones who repent.” The safest way is to stay away from what can lead to sinning, because of the hardness of time. Otherwise, the regret that we will feel in the awe of the gathering place will not do any good. Actually, another name given to the day of gathering place, that awesome day of resurrection, is “The Day of Regret”. 



I SALUTE the ones who feel disgust at their faults and errors in their consciousness



And the ones who treat their sins with the remedy of repentance!

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