Is marriage qadar (destiny)?

“Is marriage qadar?” is a very strange question. This question can only be asked by those who do not know that Allah is pre-eternal and that His knowledge is endless. To ask, “Is marriage qadar?”means, “Did Allah know in the pre-eternity  that those two people would marry?”

For, qadar is a title of the knowledge of Allah. In order to regard that marriage is not qadar, it becomes necessary for Allah to be  unaware of those two people, which is impossible for Allah, whose knowledge encompasses everything, every place and every time. Then, the answer to that question is, “Marriage is definitely qadar.”However, there may be two different situations here:

1-With His pre-eternal knowledge, Allah knew that the woman and the man wanted to marry using their own partial free will and when the time was due, He would fulfill their wish by creating it through His universal will; therefore, he wrote, in the pre-eternity, in their books of qadar that they would marry. “Knowledge is dependent on the thing known.” This rule denotes that this writing is based on their wish and will. That is, in the book of qadar, it is not written, “They should marry” but, “They will marry.”Doubtlessly, such writing does not enforce man.

2-Sometimes, in order to test people in terms of thanking or patience, without intervening in their partial free will, Allah makes two people meet and makes them marry. If that marriage is a nice marriage, it is a bounty because the man and the woman are asked to thank. If that marriage is a bad marriage, it is a testing of patience. The man is tested through the woman, and the woman is tested through the man. That is, not in all marriages are the partial free wills of people taken into account. In other words, marriage, which is a voluntary deed, sometimes takes places like a compulsory deed; without the intervention and the preference of the people. Then, we should regard the following decrees as rules.

1-If a person wants something to happen but if Allah does not want it to happen, that deed does not take place and it does not come into existence. If this wish that does not take place is a good thing, the person will be rewarded for his good intention.

2-If a person wants something to happen, and if Allah wills it, too, that deed is created and it takes place. Since the partial free will of the person causes the creation of that deed, the person will be responsible for that deed. If it is a good deed, he will be rewarded; if it is a bad deed, he will be punished.

3-The deeds that are created by the will of Allah, without any intervention of people: Regarding those kinds of deeds, the partial free will of the person is not involved. As we have mentioned before, Allah creates it so that they will be tested in terms of thanking or patience.

Marriage is sometimes a deed that belongs to the second group. When people use their partial free will, Allah creates what they want. Sometimes, a deed that belongs to the third group occurs. Without the wills of people intervening, Allah makes people marry. However, marriage is qadar in both cases. And it is the pre-eternal pre-ordination of Allah.

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