Why does Islam neglect women’s emotional needs?

The Details of the Question

- I have a few questions; I hope you can answer. I tried to keep them as short as possible.

Question 1: 

What is the reward given to the woman due to pregnancy? As far as I know, a woman is valuable only if she is a mother; and even in that case, she becomes only 1 percent better than the man.

Question 2: 

Why does Islam neglect women’s emotional needs? Since women are emotional, they have a lot of restrictions, but when it comes to the issue of exploitation, there are no restrictions regarding anything. Example: A man can marry 4 women because he is weak in controlling his sexual desires, but since women are emotional, no one cares about their problem.

Question 3: 

What should motivate women? Because there is nothing special about them. Shall we not ask for anything?

Question 4:

There are houris for men. The “removal of jealousy in Paradise” is for women only. It means that the man will have the woman he wants and that this closeness is made easy. However, the woman does not feel anything. Why is this precaution for women?

Question 5: 

All tortures are for women; iddah, marriage, slavery, pregnancy… Whatever the reason is, hell awaits her because she has to stay there for a while. That is the honor that women have earned with Islam.

Question 6:

A woman sacrifices a lot of things (her body - her freedom) but nobody talks about it in Islam. However, her being cursed is mentioned just because she is a woman.

Question 7: 

Stretch marks are common during pregnancy (bodily destruction) and no man or the religion of Islam takes it into account. However, the man’s marrying a second woman causes the already tired and exhausted mother to feel even worse and worthless.

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

Answer 1:

Aisha (ra) was never pregnant, but she was the most beloved and valuable wife of the Prophet (pbuh).

It is something desired in every place and in every period for both women and men to be able to have children, that is, to be equipped with biological and physiological conditions suitable for having children. Men and women without children are considered incomplete in this respect, but their human value does not decrease according to Islam.

Answer 2:

The sexuality and emotionality of women are not overlooked in Islam. Our model, the Prophet (pbuh), took a close interest in his wives, took them to decent entertainments to make them happy, ran races with them to please their hearts, and wanted everything to be done for women to be satisfied in sexual intercourse. He addressed men as follows: “Your family also has rights over you…” (Musnad, 1/384, 453).

A woman who is harmed by a man who does not fulfill his responsibilities related to his wife has the right to be divorced and to demand compensation.

In Islam, a man can marry more than one woman not only to satisfy his sexual desire but also for other obligatory reasons. He must have sufficient financial and moral strength for it, and if he marries, he must treat his wives equally. If the first wife does not consent, he cannot marry another woman or the first wife (when she cannot bear it) has the right to be divorced.

A woman cannot be married to more than one man at the same time because when it happens there will be no family; if there is no family, there will be no community, no nation and no ummah.

Answer 3:

What is special to a man but not to a woman? There is no such thing. On the contrary;

- The woman is not obliged to work and look after the family but the man is.
- The woman is not obliged to do military service but the man is.
- The woman is not obliged to pay blood money for the men of the close relatives but the man is.
- The man cannot use gold and silver as ornaments but the woman can …

Answer 4:

This determination is not correct.

In Paradise, everybody (whether male or female) will receive whatever they want. “…There will be there all that the souls could desire, all that their ayes could delight in...” (az-Zukhruf: 43/71) It does not say “men…”

The things that Allah will grant people in Paradise are expressed in the language we know in the world for encouragement, but the meaning of the words in this language in the world is not meant; the fruit, food, drink, man, woman, the sexuality, pleasure and the river there are not like the ones we know in this world.

Answer 5:

This is not a question; it seems like a slander against Islam, spitting venom.

What do you mean by “All tortures are for women...” Which torture? Iddah is not a torture; it is the result of a natural feature of a woman who gives birth to children and menstruates. Pregnancy is a means of honor, value, care, attention and affection. Slavery is not exclusive to women and Islam introduced measures to eradicate it.

We do not have a belief, any knowledge that a woman will absolutely go to Hell or a divine statement like that but there is a possibility that the woman who asked this question in the form of a slander will go there.

Answer 6:

This is also a slander, like the previous question. Neither man nor woman can be cursed. There are great Islamic women (awliya: saints) who are mentioned with respect.

Answer 7:

In Islam, the woman’s value does not decrease because of some changes in her body during pregnancy; on the contrary, it increases. If men had married a second woman when the woman was pregnant and had stretch marks, every man throughout history would have had at least two wives, and the existing women would not have sufficed. Such a thing has never happened anywhere or any time.

The rate of marriage with a second woman in the Ottoman State was around ten percent.

In secular countries and in non-religious men, the rate of sexual intercourse with a second woman (adultery, cheating) is much higher.

Prof. Tarhan’s determination about cheating is as follows:

“Today, sexual infidelity has become a social problem for most societies. Never in history has cheating by spouses been so common as in the modern world. For example, according to some research done in the United States, 25 out of every hundred married women had sexual intercourse with another man at least once. Again, 70 out of every hundred married men cheat on their spouse with another woman.” (see Nevzat TARHAN web page. “GÜNÜZMÜZDE HER 100 KADINDAN 25’i 100 ERKEKTEN 70’i ALDATIYOR”; Accessed: December 05, 2023/10.00)

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