Are there any hadiths about not consulting women and not acting in accordance with their views?

Dear Brother / Sister,

We can say that the advice "do not consult women" (1), which is sometimes included in some books with an absolute expression, is not in compliance with the Sunnah. For, there are clear “orders” of the Prophet (pbuh) about consulting women, at least regarding the issues that interest women:

"Consult women about the issues that interest them." (2)

"Consult women about the issues that interest girls." (3)

"A father must consult his virgin daughter before marrying her off." (4)

"A widow must not be married off without being consulted; a virgin must not be married off without her permission." (5)

It is stated definitely that it is necessary to ask a girl/woman about her view related to an issue that interests her personally and that it is necessary to act accordingly; based on “the annulment of a marriage that a girl did not consent by the Messenger of Allah himself” (6), the majority of the Islamic scholars decreed that such a marriage would not be valid. (7)

Doubtlessly, consulting one’s wife or daughter is not limited to “consulting” her only related to marriage. The following is stated in a narration:    

"The Prophet (pbuh) consulted even women and applied their views." (8)

We have not seen any narration expressing the opposite of it. In the hadith about the "red wind" in Tirmidhi, the thing that is blamed in the phrase "a person does not look after his mother and obeys his wife" is not consulting women but neglecting one’s mother. As a matter of fact, the following is also stated in the same hadith: "... a person does not look after his father and likes his friend". (9)

It will be appropriate to give some examples in order to attract attention to the importance of consulting women:

1.  After the first revelation, the Prophet told his wife, Hz. Khadijah, about what he saw and the fear he felt. She consoled the Prophet (pbuh) as follows:

"By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously..."(10)

2. Upon the incident of Ifk, that is, the incident of slandering Hz. Aisha by the munafiqs (hypocrites), which was clarified by a verse of the Quran and explained in our books in detail, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) started a detailed investigation about his wife. During this investigation, he consulted not only the notables of the Companions like Hz. Ali but also a woman like Barira – who was Hz. Aisha’s female slave. (11)

3. In the sixth year of the Migration, the Muslims set out to go to Makkah in order to perform umrah led by the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). However, the polytheists of Makkah did not allow them to visit the Kaaba and signed a peace treaty called the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah with the Muslims. After the treaty was completed, the Prophet (pbuh) said to the Companions,   

 “Stand up, sacrifice your animals and have haircuts.”

However, the Companions who had come in order to visit the Kaaba did not perform the deeds related to the umrah like having haircuts and sacrificing their animals without circumambulating the Kaaba since they did not like the content of the peace treaty. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) repeated his order three times. However, the Companions only looked at the Prophet blankly; they did not start to sacrifice the animals and have haircuts. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) went to Umm Salama, one of his wives. The following conversation took place between them:  

"O Messenger of Allah! What is the matter?"
"O Umm Salama! I am very surprised. I ordered them repeatedly ' Sacrifice your animals, have haircuts and exit ihram.' However, nobody obeyed me. Although they have heard my order, they are only looking at my face."
"O Messenger of Allah! Stand up, go to your animal and slaughter it. They will definitely obey you and will sacrifice their animals."

Upon this advice, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) went out and sacrificed his camel. Just as Umm Salama said, when the Companions saw the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) they stood up one by one and sacrificed their animals (12).

4. Once, during a Friday sermon, Hz. Umar wanted to impose a limit for mahr, the material things given to women in marriage, in order to prevent extreme demands; a woman in the congregation reminded him that this decision was wrong by reading a verse from the Quran. Thereupon Hz. Umar said, "A woman told the truth and a man made a mistake. A leader discussed and lost the discussion." He gave up his decision and accepted the view of the woman. (13).

The second example related to Hz. Umar is more interesting. When Hz. Umar was wandering to check the town at night, she heard a woman who was “complaining about loneliness” because her husband had gone to make jihad. Thereupon, he asked his daughter Hafsa (and some experienced women), "How long can a woman put up with being away from her husband?" He limited the period of military service with six months upon the answer he got. (15)

4. Khalid Ibn Walid consulted his sister Fatima Bint Walid about some issues. (16)

5. While determining the new caliph after the death of Hz. Umar, Abdurrahman Ibn Awf asked everybody including women about their views for three days and chose Hz. Uthman. (17)

Thus, women are consulted related to the personal and familial issues that interest them; they can also be consulted related to the issues in which they are specialized. Besides, even men are not advised to be consulted related to the issues in which they are not specialized and they are not interested. Therefore, the source of the advice meaning "do not consult women" is not the Prophet (pbuh). As it is explained in some serious books (18), such words are not of Islamic origin. However, everything included in the religious books – like proverbs, Israiliyyat, medical advice and aphorisms – was thought to be part of the religion from the Quran and hadiths by people in the course of time.

Footnotes:

1) Ibnul-Hajj al-Maliki, al-Madkhal, np, 1293, 4, 45; Mawardi, Adabud Dunya wad-Din, Istanbul, 1299, p. 239-40.
2) Usdul-Ghaba, 4/15.
3) Abu Dawud, Nikah 24.
4) Abu Dawud, Nikah 24, 26.
5) Bukhari, Ikrah 3, Muslim, Nikah 64.
6) Bukhari, Ikrah 4.
7) Ibn Hajar,  Fathul-Bari 15, 351; Azimabadi, Awnul-Mabud, Madinah, 1968, 6, 119 ff.
8) Ibn Qutayba, Uyunul-Akhbar, Egypt, 1963 (offset) 1, 27.
9) Tirmidhi, Fitan 38.
10) Bukhari, Bad'ul-Wahy 1,
11) Bukhari, Shahadat 16.
12) Waqidi 2, 613.
13) see Baqillani, at-Tahmid, Beirut 1957, s. 199.
14) ibid, s. 198.
15) Said Ibn Mansur, Sunan, Malegaon, 1967, 2, 186; Baqillani, ibid, p. 198; see Canan İbrahim, Hz. Peygamber'in Sünnetinde Terbiye, p. 326-27.
16) Ibn Kathir (V. 774), al-Baithl-Hathith, Beirut, 1951, p. 183.
17) Canan İbrahim, Kütübi Sitte Translation and Explanation, 15/162 ff.
18) Ibnul-Hajj, ibid, 4, 46; Mawardi, ibid, p. 236.

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