Is mourning permissible in Islam?

Dear Brother / Sister,

Death is one of the most painful things that happens to man; therefore, his relatives and friends become very sad. It is normal for their human nature to show this sorrow. 

Arabs of Jahiliyya before Islam mourned in an excessive way. The relatives of the dead person used to shout and cry as much as they could and tear their clothes; they would even hire professional criers. The wife of a dead man would not go out for a year, would not wear perfume and would not have a bath; she would be removed from this state after a year when they threw manure on her. The respect shown to the dead person by their relatives was evaluated based on the intensity of this mourning.

The custom of mourning, which was in extreme degrees in many distorted religions and nations, was transformed into a moderate state, and extremism in mourning was prohibited in Islam. Hz. Prophet (pbuh) stated the following regarding the issue:

"He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and follows the ways and traditions of the Days of Ignorance is not one of us." (Bukhari, Janaiz, 36)

When the Prophet’s son, Ibrahim, and his grandson died; he cried and shed tears; when the Companions asked about this state, he said,

"It is mercy which Allah has lodged in the hearts of His slaves, and Allah is merciful only to those of His slaves who are merciful." (Bukhari, Janaiz, 33);

"The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord." (Bukhari, Janaiz, 44)

Thus, he stated that it was permissible to show one’s sorrow in a reasonable way.

According to Islam, the period of mourning is three days. However, a woman whose husband dies mourns for four months and ten days; she lives in her husband’s house during this period. She should not adorn herself, wear new and flashy clothes; she should not accept any proposals of marriage during this period.

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