"He who loves someone should tell the person he loves about it." Is this statement a hadith and how can it be explained?

Dear Brother / Sister,

Miqdam Ibn Madikarib narrates:

"The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said,

"If one of you loves his brother (for Allah için), he should tell him that he loves him."" [Abu Dawud, Adab 122, (5124); Tirmidhi, Zuhd 54, (2393)]

The explanation of the hadith:

1. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) advises us to tell the person whom we love very much about this love. The scholars who explain this hadith say that the love will increase mutually when the person is informed about it and that is why the Messenger of Allah gave this advice.

Khattabi states the following: "The hadith encourages us to love one another and to get on well. For, when a person tells his brother that he loves him, he makes his brother’s heart tend toward him and attracts his love."

Khattabi deduces the following from the hadith:

"If a person knows that he is loved, he will accept the advice of the person who loves him. When that person informs him about his sin or mistake, he will not reject him; he will accept his mistake. If he does not know that that person loves him, he will think that he has bad thoughts about him and will not accept his advice. This can even cause distance and enmity between them."

Baghdadi states the following: "This encouragement depends on the love’s being for Allah. It is not in question to inform a person about the love for a worldly ambition or desire. To show one’s love for the world and for grants is flattery and lowliness."

Munawi attracts attention to the following issue about the hadith:

"The apparent meaning of the hadith does not include women because the word ahad (one) احد mentioned in the hadith is in the sense of wahid. If women had been meant, the word ihda اِِحْدَى would have been used. However, it can be attributed to women through generalization. The use of the masculine word is due to the fact that the address is generally toward men. In that case, it is mandub for a woman who loves another woman for Allah to tell her about it."

2. As Baghdadi states, what is meant by love is love for Allah. This condition is not stated in the hadith in question but it is mentioned in other hadiths. The Messenger of Allah insistently encouraged believers to love one another for Allah. 

Munawi states the following: "A believer should love his believing brother due to his good attributes." He continues as follows: "Those who are generous and have high ethics are loved due to those desirable attributes because they love those who share the same attributes as them since they find perfection in themselves. Thus, they actually love nothing but themselves and their own attributes. Similarly, it is claimed that this love can be valid for personal love too if it is free of bad aims."

Anas narrates:

"There was a man sitting next to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh). Meanwhile, somebody passed by. The man next to the Prophet (pbuh) said,  

"O Messenger of Allah! I love this person passing by." The Prophet (pbuh) asked,

"Have you told him about it?" The man said,

"No!" Thereupon, the Prophet (pbuh) said,

"Tell him about it." The man stood up and caught up with him. He said,

"I love you for Allah." The man said,

"May Allah love you too!"" [Abu Dawud, Adab 122, (5125).]

(see Prof. Dr. İbrahim Canan, Kütüb-ü Sitte Tercüme ve Şerhi, Altıncı Fasıl, Karşılıklı Muhabbet, c. X, Hadis no: 3337-3338)

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