What are the standards of modesty (awrah) and covering (tasattur) for men toward other men and for women toward other women?

What are the boundaries of modesty and covering for men in relation to other men, and for women in relation to other women?

Is it permissible for a woman to wax or shave another woman’s private parts, or to massage her body?

Is it permissible for two sisters or female friends/close relatives to kiss each other as a sign of affection?

Is it permissible for two sisters or female friends/cousins to sleep in the same bed or side by side without any ill intent between them?

Dear Brother / Sister,

Answer 1:

In Islam, the rules regarding modesty and privacy vary depending on a person’s relationship with the other person. The standards of covering (hijab/tasattur) are not the same for a person’s spouse, close relatives, same-sex individuals, and non-mahram people.

The Awrah of Men Toward Other Men.

There are some nuances among madhhabs regarding a man’s private parts in relation to other men but the generally accepted view is that a man’s private parts in relation to other men are the area between his navel and his knees.

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

“A man’s awrah is between his navel and his knees.” (Abu Dawud, Libas, 37; Tirmidhi, Adab, 40)

Accordingly, it is not permissible for a man to expose the area between his navel and kneecaps to other men, nor is it permissible for others to look at this area.

However, from a decency standpoint, unnecessarily exposing areas such as the chest, back, and thighs is also considered inappropriate.

The Awrah of Women in Relation to Other Women.

There are also some differences among Islamic fiqh scholars regarding a woman’s awrah in relation to other women.

The widely accepted view is that a Muslim woman’s awrah in relation to another Muslim woman is the area between her navel and her knees. However, it does not mean that “a woman can expose herself as she wishes in front of another woman.”

Among women too, modesty, decency, privacy, and the possibility of causing mischief should be observed.

Therefore, it is considered inappropriate for a woman to unnecessarily expose her breasts, back, abdomen, and thighs in front of other women.

Answer 2:

One woman waxing or shaving another woman’s body

If the procedure is to be performed on the private parts, it is not permissible for another woman to see or touch those areas.

For example, waxing or shaving the area between the navel and the kneecaps or even viewing or touching this area for caring purposes is not normally permissible.

However, in cases such as illness, medical treatment, or obligation, permission may be granted for the amount needed.

Apart from that, it is generally considered permissible for women to take care of each other’s non-awrah areas such as arms, legs, and face.

Answer 3:

Women kissing each other

It is permissible under normal circumstances for two sisters or female friends to kiss each other as a sign of affection.

In particular, kissing on the forehead or cheek is permissible as an act of affection and sisterhood.

However, moderation must be maintained here as well: If lust, sexual connotations, or inappropriate behavior are involved, the decree changes and it becomes impermissible.

Islam does not forbid fraternal love and compassion; however, it keeps them within the bounds of modesty and decency.

Answer 4:

The primary criterion for two sisters, close female relatives, or friends sleeping in the same bed or side-by-side is related to intention and situation.

If there is no ill intent between them, no lust or inappropriate situation, and if their awrah parts are covered, it is permissible for them to sleep in the same place.

However, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) commanded that even children’s beds be separated after a certain age: “Separate your children’s beds when they reach the age of ten.” (Abu Dawud, Salah, 26)

Scholars have concluded from this hadith that one should be careful about privacy and good manners.

Therefore, it is not considered appropriate for adult women to constantly lie close together in an inappropriate manner or to disregard their boundaries of privacy.

In summary: Islam’s fundamental approach is not to alienate people from one another, but to protect love, brotherhood, and closeness “within the boundaries of modesty and privacy.”

Questions on Islam