How should the ethics of a Muslim man / woman be?

The Details of the Question

- How should the ethics of a Muslim man / woman be according to hadiths and verses?

The Answer

Dear Brother / Sister,

According to the information obtained from the Quran, every Muslim woman / man has the following characteristics – in summary:

- He believes in Allah and the Day of Judgment. He is careful about the seditions of the world and tricks of Satan. He worships his Lord, fulfills His order and avoids His prohibitions. He surrenders to Allah fully. He repents a lot and asks his Lord for forgiveness due to his mistakes, negligence and sins.  

- He is aware of his responsibility toward his family members. He seeks Allah’s consent in everything that he does. He orders what is good as much as he can and forbids what is evil.

- He is aware of his duties toward himself. He is aware that man consists of mind, spirit and body and that each has a structure and needs peculiar to them. He is careful about the balance among them; he does not give one too much importance by ignoring the others. He regards the Book of Allah, the Sunnah of the Prophet and the lives of great personalities as a guide regarding the issue.

- He gives importance to his clothes without waste, extremism and conceit. He shows the care that fits man, whom Allah made honorable, ordered His angels to prostrate and put what is in the skies and earth under his service, in his inner world.

- He treats his parents well and does them favors. He appreciates them. He tries not to be a disobedient child.  

- He becomes mature, loving and friendly toward his spouse; he tries to attain her consent; he tries to show respect to her, do her favors, keeps her secrets, helps her do favors act piously and do righteous deeds; he fills her with happiness and peace.  

- She is a very compassionate mother toward her children. She is aware of her responsibility about their education. She makes her children feel her love, compassion and mercy toward them. When it is necessary, she warns her children and corrects their mistakes. Thus, she makes high ethics settle in their hearts; she tries to give them a good education by directing them to good and honorable works.

- He continues the bond of love between him and his relatives. He does his neighbors favors and helps them. He takes care of them. He knows the rights about neighbors and observes them.

His relationship with his brothers and friends are based on “loving for Allah”. It is the loftiest and cleanest love in human life. For, it is a love that is free from all kinds of material interests and doubts. A relationship based on this principle takes its cleanliness and purity from the light of the Quran and the Sunnah.

Therefore, a Muslim is honest, sincere and tolerant in his relationships with his brothers. He does not break off his relationship with them; he does not hurt their feelings by arguing and quarreling with them. He does them favors whenever he can. He always welcomes them by smiling. His social relationships are at a very high level. He takes his socialness from the principles of his religion and the decrees about high ethics of the fiqh of mutual relationships.

In addition, every Muslim, man-woman, has the following characteristics:

- He has high ethics. He tells the truth to everybody and is honest.

- He does not trick, deceive or betray people. He does not perjure.

- He gives advice. He leads people to good deeds. He keep his promise. He is modest and chaste.

- He does not interfere in the things that do not interest him. He does not search people’s private issues.

- He keeps away from show off. He acts justly in all cases. He does not oppress. He acts justly toward the people that he does not like. He does not become happy for the bad things that happen to anybody.

- He does not have negative thoughts about others. He does not backbite or commit talebearing. He does not swear and utter bad words. He does not mock anybody.

- He is lenient and merciful toward people. He helps those who are in need. He is generous. He does not run anybody’s nose in it. He makes things easy, not difficult.  

- He does not act jealously. He avoids factitious words and deeds. He is good-humored. He does not act arrogantly; he is humble. He is not engaged in useless things.

- He visits ill people. He cares about the problems of others. He prefers others to himself. He appreciates the favors done to him and thanks people. 

- She adapts her customs and traditions to Islamic criteria. She shows respect to the elderly and virtuous people.  She does not try to resemble men.

- She calls to Allah. She calls people kindly and wisely. She stays together with righteous women.

- She is chaste and modest; she protects her awrah places. She protects not only her body, eyes and ears but also her mind, heart and intention from all kinds of haram deeds.

- She is patient and hopeful. She never abandons hope of Allah’s mercy.

- She is knowledgeable about religion and ilm. She learns what is useful and harmful for her and acts accordingly.

- She is solemn and respectful.

- She is natural; she appears as she is and she is as she appears. 

He never falters and acts lazily in important and dangerous duties. He relies on Allah.

- He gives importance to bodily and spiritual cleanliness and acts accordingly.

- He is not a gambler, drunkard, trickster, fraud, cheater, sycophant and twister.

- He does not judge about something that he does not know.

- He never leaves the truth and justice anywhere even if it is against him.

- He never leaves justice related to his enemies; he does not obstruct justice due to his enmity toward them. 

- He avoids extravagance and stinginess.

- He does not harm anybody with his hand or tongue.

- He helps others at times of both welfare and hardship.

- If he wants to commit a bad deed or wrong somebody, he remembers Allah at once, asks forgiveness from Him and repents.

- He accepts the truth no matter who tells it; he accepts and takes knowledge, skill, wisdom and truth wherever he finds them; he does not act bigotedly about them.

- He is not lazy. He works for the world as if he will never die and gets ready for the hereafter as if he will die tomorrow; he fulfills his duties about both of them fully.

- He regards the love of Allah and the Prophet superior to everything. Love and fear of Allah covers all of his body.

- He avoids doubtful things by all means.

- His biggest aim is to try to be a real Muslim, to practice and make others practice the virtues that Islam determines and suggests, and to serve as a model to everybody.

Those are some examples from the personality of a Muslim, whom Islam forms with guidance, whose heart Islam forms with wisdom and whose prudence Islam enlightens.

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