Can having little income be regarded as a barrier to marriage?
Submitted by on Mon, 09/11/2015 - 17:49
Dear Brother / Sister,
"Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace."(an-Nur, 24/32)
Marry the believing free women and men, and good ones among your slaves since you are their masters; allow and help them to marry so that they will not commit bad deeds due to negligence. For, marriage is the means of the continuation of human species; it is an end in itself and it is a good deed that prevents the community from debauchery and the generations from elimination. Therefore, to ease marriage and to reproduce is an important good deed and duty for benefactors and administrators.
As it is seen, the word "salih (virtuous)" is used for male and female slaves but it is not used for free men and women. For, what is essential for Muslims is to be virtuous. The meaning of "salah" here is being eligible for marriage along with being ethically good.
The following is stated for those who want to use financial difficulties as an excuse: If they are poor, Allah will make them rich with His grace. Therefore, one of the parties should not give up marriage by using only poverty as an excuse. They should not lose hope of Allah's grace; through marriage, they get rid of the most of the necessities of bachelorhood. Allah's grace is vast; His generosity is abundant and His power is immense. He gives whomever He wishes unexpected grace and sustenance. However, He does not have to do so; He does it if He wishes. He is the Knower of all; He knows why He gives a lot to some and a little to others.
Allah orders us to marry young and free men and states the following:
"Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among your slaves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: Their poverty should not be an excuse for not marrying them. Allah is generous. He gives whomever He wishes a lot of sustenance. He knows all of the states of people."
Allah orders the young people who cannot afford to get married due to material and social reasons to keep away from fornication and what Allah rendered haram until He makes them rich with His grace. For, if a person keeps away from Allah's prohibitions, Allah shows him a way out. Allah states the following in the Quran: «…and for those who fear Allah, He will make their path easy.» (at-Talaq, 65/4)
Allah also orders masters to make a deal with slaves who want to be freed and to accept the money or goods given by them for their freedom. He forbids female slaves from being forced to prostitute themselves in order to earn money by their masters. He states that a grievous penalty is prepared for those who force their female slaves to prostitute themselves by violating their rights and that the sins of those who are forced to prostitute themselves will be forgiven.
Allah expresses clear verses, detailed decrees and boundaries so that His slaves will follow the right path. The goodness and happiness of His slaves are based on the decrees and boundaries shown by these verses. Many examples from the previous ummahs are given so that people will take lessons. There is also advice for those who have taqwa.
Yes, there must not be even one bachelor in a society. Every woman and every man must have a spouse. If this is ensured, a clean life is led in the community; thus, privacy in the society, which is demanded by Allah, is preserved; consequently, fornication is prevented in the society and chaste people are protected. If marriage is not established in a society, it is impossible to for men and women to protect their chastity. If we cannot marry people so that there is no single man and woman who are not married, it will not be possible to keep men and women in a clear environment. It is necessary to meet the natural and sexual needs of men and women through legitimate ways so that they will fulfill their responsibilities.
Is that not right? For instance, what would a man who was hungry do if we did not put any halal food in front of him and told him it was haram to eat them? Eating is a natural requirement. He has to eat in order to live. It is necessary to put halal food in front of him and then say these things are haram and those things are halal; only then can he obey the rules.
Similarly, man has natural needs; one of them is sexual need. Man needs to fill his stomach with halal food and his mind and heart with knowledge of Allah; similarly, he has to satisfy his sexual organs through legitimate ways. Allah states the following in the Quran:
O Muslims! Marry those among you who are single, divorced, without husbands, without wives, that is, those who need to marry. Marry your daughters, your sons, divorced women and men, old men and women, that is everybody who needs marriage.
This statement addresses Muslim individuals, fathers, mothers and the Muslim community, that is, everybody. Upon this divine order, we need to marry our daughters and sons who have reached the age of puberty as soon as possible. We need to marry the divorced men and women and those whose spouses died as soon as possible (after the period of iddah for women). A woman whose husband died or who was divorced has the right of adornment and marrying again as soon as her iddah ends. It does not matter whether she is young, middle-aged or old. Besides, Allah's order involves the following, too:
Marry the virtuous and sincere male and female Muslim slaves. Marry those who are righteous and who, you believe, will fulfill their responsibilities when they get married. That is, marry those who you believe will not destroy the lives of others.
Yes, along with encouraging us to marry free men and women, our Lord also orders us to marry our virtuous male and female slaves. It should be noted that the word virtuous is nor used for free men and women but for male and female slaves. Yes, male and female slaves also have the right to marry. They also have sexual needs.
Yes, this order is regarded as advice for Muslims; and Muslims must fulfill this responsibility so that there will be no bachelors left in the community. All Muslims need to try to ensure it so that a clean, chaste and honest community will be formed. Either the Muslims fulfill this duty and go to Paradise by forming a clean community and protecting their chastity and honor, or they will avoid this responsibility, will not help those who are not married, which will consequently cause illegitimate relationships to spread in the community, and a dirty community will form. If Allah's wrath is sent upon that community, it will be destroyed. The biggest problem in this materialistic community is the economic problem.
First of all, some single women, whether they are unmarried or divorced, and some men think as follows: I have enough money and property; I have material facilities and friends. I do not need to marry. They look at the issue from the point of view of economic power.
Some women and men have the opposite view. They say, "I have no money or property. How can I marry?"
Another aspect of the issue is the attitude of other Muslims. They think as follows: How can I marry those Muslims? I do not have enough money. If I help them financially, I may get into financial difficulty. Thus, they avoid helping single Muslims. However, they increase their expenses.
For example, when they marry their own children, they spend a lot of money by organizing expensive wedding ceremonies; they damage the social ethics and disturb the economic balance in the society and make marriages and weddings more difficult.
Prevention of marriage due to the three reasons mentioned above is one of the biggest misfortunes in a community. Economy is not the basis of life. Belief is the basis of life. Can economy prevent it if the community is an Islamic community and decides to make use of this bounty rendered halal by Allah through marriage? We have the models of marriage of the Messenger of Allah, his daughters and Companions. Their modal life is so nice and so easy.
The girl to get married definitely has a bed in her house; the boy to get married also has a bed in his house. If you combine these two beds, it is done. Food? The boy eats in his house and the girl eats in her house. They are not hungry now. They can share the same bread. However, if you think things are important and modernism is important, it will be difficult. Is your daughter without clothes now? Does she not have anything on her? Is your son without clothes? What else is necessary?
Think of a man and a woman who are 25-30 years old. Is it better for such a man and a woman to live in wealth but as bachelors? Or is it better for them to live with some difficulty but as a married couple? In which situation will they be happier? Even if she has a simple piece of cloth and only some bread, it will be better for her to live with her husband in peace. Are many families, their daughters and sons not in trouble because of this? Do we have any right to make life so difficult?
We now see that some communities of unbelievers and oppressors meet their sexual needs through relationships out of marriage, which Allah does not want. Should we do something like that? No, our Lord informs us about the alternative: Make marriage easy if you do not want to fall into a dirty situation like that. Marry your Muslim brothers. This is the alternative of such a bad situation.
Now please tell me which one of the following fathers is better? Think of a father who goes to a Muslim man and says to him, "I have a daughter. Will you marry her?" For instance, Hz. Abu Bakr goes to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and says to him, "O Messenger of Allah! Will you marry my daughter?" Another father, Hz. Umar, goes to Abu Bakr as soon as the iddah period of his daughter whose husband died ends and asks him, "O Abu Bakr! Would you like to marry my daughter? "He goes to Hz. Uthman and asks him, "O Uthman! Would you like to marry my daughter? Is a father like that better or a father who says, "O my daughter! Here is your house, money and wealth. Here are my children and grandchildren for you to love"? Is a father like Hz. Umar considerate and thoughtful or a cruel father who utters the statement above? Tell me: Which one of them is better? Which one is more merciful?
You are with your wife whenever you wish and have a second and third; you do not put up with being away from your wife even for a week but you do not marry your single daughter or divorced daughter. What a strange thing? What kind of a father are you?
O Muslim! You live with your wife and do not put up with being away from your wife even for a day; do you not ever think of the men and women who are not married around you? Do you not ever think of those widows and bachelors who go to bed alone and weep in bed? O sons! Do you not ever think of your mothers and fathers when their husbands and wives die? Do you not ever think of your divorced sisters? If you do not think of them, try living away from your wives or husbands. Can you do it? How can you want for your daughters and sons something that you do not want for yourself? This issue is settled if our hearts is filled with the Quran and the Sunnah and if our hearts beat in accordance with the Book and the Sunnah.
If we reach a point where we can view things under the light of the Book and the Sunnah and question life through revelation, they will definitely be easier. A Catholic or Protestant understanding, Judaism or customs have become dominant in our community since we do not know the verses of the Quran and the practices of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) about the issue and we do not know the marriage models of the Companions.
Our Lord states the following: "If they are poor, Allah will make them rich with His grace." What kind of calculations do we make? We think as if the rich people became rich based on their own minds, plans and programs. How can you think like unbelievers? Then, let the poor slaves of Allah marry. We can marry them by giving them a bed and a quilt without making any other calculations. Allah states that He will make them rich. That is, our Lord states with that verse that Muslims should not think about money when they get married. Why do you make materialistic calculations by giving up hope of Allah’s grace and grants? Allah's grace is vast. He gives unexpected bounties and sustenance to whomever He wishes. That is, He knows what He will give to those He wishes and who needs what. He does not become poor when He feeds His slaves. His treasure never runs out.
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