FAQ in the category of Rights of Individuals

1 Is a man who gives hope to another person that he will marry her and then gives up this thought regarded to have violated her rights?

A man who starts a friendship with a girl or woman and says he will marry her with the intention of playing the field is regarded to have violated her rights. However, if he starts a friendship seriously but gives up the idea in the course of time due to some incidents, he is excused. For, getting married and then divorcing is worse than breaking up before marriage.

However, the party that gives up the thought of marriage needs to ask for forgiveness from the other party. We do not advice you to curse or damn him. Things like that may happen in life.

It is not a sin to fall in love. It is stated in a hadith that the one who falls in love with a woman and hides this feeling and who dies without telling this to anyone is a martyr. (see Kanzu’lummal, h. No: 7000; to get more information about the hadith, see Ajluni, 2/263;). Sahawi pointed out that the hadith is sahih (sound) (see al-Maqasidu’l-Hasana, 1(220). Therefore, it is not up to one to decide whether to fall in love or not. If you cannot help thinking of her/him, it is permitted for you to remember her/him.

However, it is wrong to love somebody to such a degree as to sacrifice the sacred things as if worshipping. If you have the opportunity to get married and to take him/her as a spouse within the boundaries of the religious criteria, we recommend you to do that right away. If this is not possible, thinking that it is not for your goodness, then, you should ask for a good spouse from Allah.

We cannot know what is good for us. There is a possibility that we will wish something which at first we absolutely wanted to take place had not ever happened. Therefore, it is best to ask for what is good for us and to wait with patience if it does not happen.

Mary’s mother had asked for a son. Allah gave her a girl. She was very upset about it. If we asked her now which one she would rather have: tens of boys or just one Mary. Of course, she would choose one Mary. For, her daughter became a prophet’s mother.

2 Is it true that a person who forgives everybody for the violation of his rights in the world will go to Paradise without being questioned?

There is no such rule or we do not know about it. However, forgiving is a great virtue. Forgiving people will attract Allah's mercy.

One of the best virtues of Islam is forgiveness. Allah mentions this nice attribute in many verses and encourages people to forgive others. Two of those verses are as follows:

“Hold to forgiveness; command what is right; But turn away from the ignorant.” (al-A’raf, 7/199)

“Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men...” (Aal-i Imran, 3/134)

Pleasure taken from forgiveness is much more than pleasure taken from revenge. To forgive always gives peace and comfort to the person who forgives. The perfect level of forgiveness belongs to Allah. Allah Almighty loves forgiveness and the one who forgives. We see the best examples of forgiveness in the life of the Prophet:

The leaders of Quraysh tribe planned to assassinate the Prophet (pbuh). When they failed to do it, they forced him to leave Makkah.

Afterwards, the Prophet (pbuh) conquered Makkah with the help of Allah Almighty. Those who forced him to leave Makkah gathered around the Kaaba and were talking about how they would be killed. Meanwhile, the Prophet came to the gate of the Kaaba and asked them “what they expected him to do”. When they said they expected forgiveness, he proclaimed amnesty.

One of the signs of a Muslim is to be tender-minded. Allah Almighty loves His tender-minded slaves:

“…Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about thee: so pass over (Their faults), and ask for (Allah´s) forgiveness for them…” (Aal-i Imran, 3/159)

The highest degree of forgiveness is to repel evil with good deeds:

“…Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate.” (Fussilat, 41/34)